Use praise more than criticism - Deepstash
Back to School Basics for Parents

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Back to School Basics for Parents

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Use praise more than criticism

Criticism drawing attention to your child’s mistakes or behaviors that bother you can cause your child’s defenses to go up, perpetuating what originally sparked the criticism.

Instead, try praising your child for what they do well. Studies recommend working your way up to offering four times more praise than criticism.

Parenting with praise may boost your child’s confidence and improve your child’s academic performance, reinforcing their belief that they can do the work and be successful at it.

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The mental health effects of parental pressure

Excessive or inappropriate parental pressure carries many mental health consequences for kids as they grow up.

Studies suggest that children who grow up with parents who yelled, shouted, or verbally humiliated them may have a greater likelihood of experiencing challenges  such as:

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    Types of parental pressure

    There are two main forms of parental pressure: direct pressure and indirect pressure.

    • Direct pressure often involves yelling, force, or complaining.
    • Indirect pressure may involve guilt-tripping your child or reminding them of rigid expectations.

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    Focus on health, not appearance

    Focus on health, not appearance

    • Avoid teasing or criticizing your child about their weight or appearance. These types of behaviors are strongly tied to the development of eating disorders in young adults.
    • Monitoring or restricting food can backfire, leading your child to adopt unhe...

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    Set rules, not ultimatums

    Set rules, not ultimatums

    Authoritative parenting — rather than authoritarian parenting — is tied to high self-esteem in children. When parents are overly controlling, children can lose faith in themselves and their ability to do things or listen to their own feelings.

    Instead of telling your child ...

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    Don’t do your child’s work for them

    You might be tempted to intervene in your child’s life out of a sense of duty or control, such as:

    • asking your child’s teachers for extra credit
    • scolding a classmate who hurt your child’s feelings
    • hiding or restricting access to food.

    But if you help...

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    Validate your child’s feelings

    It’s easy to assume that your child is a smaller extension of you who feels the same way you do about the same things.

    But when you give credence to your child’s feelings instead of seeking to control them — even when they’re not the same as yours — you acknowledge ...

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    What causes parents to pressure children?

    What causes parents to pressure children?

    Parents might feel the need to pressure their children for many reasons.

    • Research shows that 86% of parents pressure their kids because they grew up with distant or negligent parents and wanted to pay more attention to their own children.
    • Guilt

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    Parental pressure

    Parental pressure

    This is the emotional stress parents impose upon their children and is often related to academic performance, extracurricular activities, social standards, appearance, friendships, and romantic relationships.

    Certain parenting experiences might prompt you to pressure your kids to make diffe...

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    Sometimes the most important life lessons are the ones we end up learning the hard way.

    Parental pressure may come from good intentions, but it can hamper a child’s self-esteem.

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