Learn more about parenting with this collection
How to communicate effectively with teachers
How to create a supportive learning environment at home
How to manage your child's school schedule and activities
Focus on health, not appearance
- Avoid teasing or criticizing your child about their weight or appearance. These types of behaviors are strongly tied to the development of eating disorders in young adults.
- Monitoring or restricting food can backfire, leading your child to adopt unhealthy habits and hide them from you.
- Instead, swap discussing weight or body image in favor of encouraging healthy habits, like eating enough nutritious foods and exercising.
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The mental health effects of parental pressure
Excessive or inappropriate parental pressure carries many mental health consequences for kids as they grow up.
Studies suggest that children who grow up with parents who yelled, shouted, or verbally humiliated them may have a greater likelihood of experiencing challenges such as:
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Types of parental pressure
There are two main forms of parental pressure: direct pressure and indirect pressure.
- Direct pressure often involves yelling, force, or complaining.
- Indirect pressure may involve guilt-tripping your child or reminding them of rigid expectations.
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Set rules, not ultimatums
Authoritative parenting — rather than authoritarian parenting — is tied to high self-esteem in children. When parents are overly controlling, children can lose faith in themselves and their ability to do things or listen to their own feelings.
Instead of telling your child ...
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Don’t do your child’s work for them
You might be tempted to intervene in your child’s life out of a sense of duty or control, such as:
- asking your child’s teachers for extra credit
- scolding a classmate who hurt your child’s feelings
- hiding or restricting access to food.
But if you help...
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Validate your child’s feelings
It’s easy to assume that your child is a smaller extension of you who feels the same way you do about the same things.
But when you give credence to your child’s feelings instead of seeking to control them — even when they’re not the same as yours — you acknowledge ...
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What causes parents to pressure children?
Parents might feel the need to pressure their children for many reasons.
- Research shows that 86% of parents pressure their kids because they grew up with distant or negligent parents and wanted to pay more attention to their own children.
- Guilt
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Parental pressure
This is the emotional stress parents impose upon their children and is often related to academic performance, extracurricular activities, social standards, appearance, friendships, and romantic relationships.
Certain parenting experiences might prompt you to pressure your kids to make diffe...
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Use praise more than criticism
Criticism drawing attention to your child’s mistakes or behaviors that bother you can cause your child’s defenses to go up, perpetuating what originally sparked the criticism.
Instead, try praising your child for what they do well. Studies recommend working your way up to o...
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Parental pressure may come from good intentions, but it can hamper a child’s self-esteem.
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