9. Acknowledge their authority - Deepstash
Lifelong Learners

Learn more about communication with this collection

How to apply new knowledge in everyday life

Why continuous learning is important

How to find and evaluate sources of knowledge

Lifelong Learners

Discover 74 similar ideas in

It takes just

7 mins to read

9. Acknowledge their authority

9. Acknowledge their authority

Ultimately, the person in power is probably going to make the final decision, so acknowledge that.

You might say, “I know you’ll make the call here. This is up to you.” That will not only show that you know your place but also remind them that they have choices.

Don’t backtrack on your opinion or give false praise, though. “You want to show respect to the person while maintaining your self-respect.”

78

552 reads

MORE IDEAS ON THIS

5. Stay calm

5. Stay calm

You might feel your heart racing or your face turning red, but do whatever you can to remain neutral in both your words and actions. When your body language communicates reluctance or anxiety, it undercuts the message.

Deep breaths can help, as can speaking more slowly and deliberately.

...

75

594 reads

6. Validate the original point

6. Validate the original point

After you’ve gotten permission, articulate the other person’s point of view. What is the idea, opinion, or proposal that you’re disagreeing with? Stating that clearly, possibly even better than your counterpart did, lays a strong foundation for the discussion.

“You want your counterpart to ...

77

579 reads

2. Decide whether to wait

2. Decide whether to wait

After this risk assessment, you may decide it’s best to hold off on voicing your opinion. Maybe you haven’t finished thinking the problem through, the whole discussion was a surprise to you, or you want to get a clearer sense of what the group thinks.

If you think other people are going to...

72

913 reads

7. Don’t make judgments

7. Don’t make judgments

When you move on to expressing your concerns, watch your language carefully to avoid any “judgment words” such as “short-sighted,” “foolish,” or “hasty” that might set off your counterpart; one of his tips is to cut out all adjectives, since “the...

75

484 reads

8. Stay humble

8. Stay humble

Emphasize that you’re offering your opinion, not gospel truth. “It may be a well-informed, well-researched opinion, but it’s still an opinion, [so] talk tentatively and slightly understate your confidence.”

Say, “This is just my opinion, but I don’t see how we will make that de...

76

502 reads

3. Identify a shared goal

3. Identify a shared goal

Before you share your thoughts, think about what the powerful person cares about — it may be “the credibility of their team or getting a project done on time.” You’re more likely to be heard if you can connect your disagreement to a “higher purpose.”

When you do speak up, don’t assume the ...

78

783 reads

4. Ask permission to disagree

4. Ask permission to disagree

This step may sound overly deferential, but it’s a smart way to give the powerful person “psychological safety” and control.

  • You can say something like, “I know we seem to be moving toward a first-quarter commitment here.

I have reasons to think that won’t work. I’d like ...

80

750 reads

1. Be realistic about the risks

1. Be realistic about the risks

Most people tend to overplay the risks involved in speaking up. “Our natural bias is to start by imagining all the things that will go wrong.” Your counterpart might be surprised and a little upset at first.

But chances are you’re not going to get fired or make a lifelong enemy. First, con...

80

1.48K reads

CURATED FROM

IDEAS CURATED BY

iwrite

🌊Full-time reader, part-time writer 🔥Wait for the fire, 'cause you don't know what's higher

What do you say when you disagree with someone who has more power than you do? Find out by reading the stashes.

Related collections

Other curated ideas on this topic:

How to convince someone when facts fail

How to convince someone when facts fail

  • keep emotions out of the exchange;
  • discuss, don't attack;
  • listen carefully and try to articulate the other position accurately;
  • show respect'
  • acknowledge that you understand why someone might hold that opinion;
  • try to show how changing facts does not n...

Acknowledging everyone around you

Socially intelligent people acknowledge absolutely everyone and show respect: the person holding the door, someone sharing the elevator, or the person serving them coffee.

Look away from your phone from time to time; make it a point to smile and say hello to the persons yo...

Make the Final Decision and Move On

Make the Final Decision and Move On

If you are the manager, make final decisions. And to do so decisively: evaluate all the options in front of you, hear and absorb everyone's arguments, and ultimately make the final call, with arguments. 

Even if you've expressed dissent as an employee, it'll benefit you to let your m...

Read & Learn

20x Faster

without
deepstash

with
deepstash

with

deepstash

Personalized microlearning

100+ Learning Journeys

Access to 200,000+ ideas

Access to the mobile app

Unlimited idea saving

Unlimited history

Unlimited listening to ideas

Downloading & offline access

Supercharge your mind with one idea per day

Enter your email and spend 1 minute every day to learn something new.

Email

I agree to receive email updates