1. Giving is not about being nice - Deepstash
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1. Giving is not about being nice

1. Giving is not about being nice

Dont confuse being generous with being nice.

Being a nice person is about courtesy: you’re friendly, polite, agreeable, and accommodating. When people think they always have to be nice in order to give, they fail to set boundaries, rarely say no, and become doormats, letting others walk all over them.

Productive givers focus on acting in the long-term best interests of others, even if it’s not pleasant.

They have the courage to give the critical feedback. They offer tough love, knowing that we might like them less, but we’ll come to trust and respect them more.

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MORE IDEAS ON THIS

<p>Although many people give a...

Although many people give at their own expense, there’s a group of people who are productively generous.

How do they give without compromising their well-being and falling short on traditional measures of success?

The...

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1.3K reads

On the Road to Thriving

On the Road to Thriving

What the productively generous know:

1. Nice guys may finish last, but good guys finish first.

2. Whereas the selfless give until it hurts them, and the selfish give only when it helps them, the sustainably generous give when it helps ot...

78

943 reads

2. It’s not about altruism

2. It’s not about altruism

In the eyes of many people, giving doesn’t count unless it’s completely selfless. In reality, though, giving isn’t sustainable when it’s completely selfless.

For example, studies reveal that people who give altruistically—with no concern for their own interests—are prone to burnout and ...

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1.07K reads

<p><strong>Successful givers s...

Successful givers secure their oxygen masks before coming to the assistance of others.

The productively generous choose to help in ways that are energizing rather than exhausting.

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1.04K reads

<p>Three other <em>pillars for...

Three other pillars for a successful life: well-being, wisdom, and wonder. All of these pillars can be side effects of productive giving.

  • Helping effectively can boost our well-being by strengthening...

70

802 reads

<p><em>Unfortunately</em>, whe...

Unfortunately, when people sacrifice their own success for other people, they fall behind on their personal responsibilities, and burn out.

Reaching down to help people climb up the ladder, they get stepped on—and sometimes squashed.

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1.64K reads

3. It’s not about refusing help from others

3. It’s not about refusing help from others

The productively generous recognize the difference between taking and receiving.

  • Taking is using others solely for personal gain.
  • Receiving is accepting help when you need it, and maintaining a willingness to pay it back or ...

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1.01K reads

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Successful givers secure their own oxygen masks before coming to the assistance of others

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