1. Giving is not about being nice

Dont confuse being generous with being nice.

Being a nice person is about courtesy: you’re friendly, polite, agreeable, and accommodating. When people think they always have to be nice in order to give, they fail to set boundaries, rarely say no, and become doormats, letting others walk all over them.

Productive givers focus on acting in the long-term best interests of others, even if it’s not pleasant.

They have the courage to give the critical feedback. They offer tough love, knowing that we might like them less, but we’ll come to trust and respect them more.