As a result, I spent most of my twenties being a terribly unreliable (and often selfish) person. I was the guy who said he couldn't wait to see you and then never showed up. I was the guy who went on three spectacular dates with a woman and then strangely found an endless litany of excuses to not go on a fourth.
Our inner demons lead us to negatively judge ourselves, further leading to avoiding that judgment, and eventually starting the internal self-destruction, if the negative downward spiral is left unchecked.
Now, this might sound like fun. But I think this "Cocktail Party of You" would actually get quite boring. The reason is that for each version of you that you talk to, you know everything that they know, while they only know a fraction of what you know.
When you experience regret, you neglect the celebration of all of the exciting parts of your life to focus on this one festering mistake that haunts you.
Regret can be seen as a mistake that we haven't learned the proper lesson from yet. If we learn from it, that mistake becomes helpful and makes us better.
The way to move on is to take responsibility for your mistakes. Understand what happened and integrate that experience into your understanding of who you are today.
Whether it's a spouse who was unfaithful, a parent who let you down as a child, or a friend who shared something told in confidence, we all must face the question of whether and how to forgive. After you are wronged and the initial wave of emotion has passed, you're presented with a new challenge: Do you forgive the person?
If you decide you are willing to forgive, find a good place and time to be alone with your thoughts.
Think about the incident that angered you. Accept that it happened, how you felt about it and how it made you react.
Acknowledge the growth you experienced as a result of what happened. What did it make you learn about yourself, or about your needs and boundaries?
Think about the other person. When you were hurt, the other person was trying to have a need met. What do you think this need was and why did the person go about it in such a hurtful way?
Decide if you want to tell the other person that you have forgiven him or her.
deepstash
helps you become inspired, wiser and productive, through bite-sized ideas from the best articles, books and videos out there.
Over 2M Installs
4.75 App Score
Deepstash is better on the app. Discover new ideas and get inspired daily.