Lowering one’s expectations

Failing to meet your own expectations is not the opposite of happiness. Your ability to fail and still appreciate the experience is key to happiness.

The joy is not in getting what you want, but the process of working towards it, then raising the bar, and doing it again. If you fail, learn from it. 

@keviataylor

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Self Improvement

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Happiness

Happiness, like other emotions, is not something you acquire. It is something you are.
This implies that happiness is not a goal that you can reach. It is a side effect of a particular set of ongoing life experiences.

While pleasure is correlated with happiness, pursuing pleasure does not cause happiness.

People who focus their energy on materialistic and superficial pleasures end up more anxious and less happy in the long run. Pleasure is necessary, but it's insufficient.

We don't always need to be positive, even if that is constantly marketed to us. We will have trouble. Things go wrong. People upset us. Mistakes are made that make us negative. It's all part of life.

Negative emotions are necessary, but we need to learn to express them in a socially acceptable way that aligns with our values.

Happiness is a process

Raising a child makes us happier than beating a video game. Completing a marathon makes us happier than eating chocolate.
These activities involve pain, struggle, even anger, and despair. But once you have completed them, you look back and feel happy because these kinds of events allow us to become our ideal selves.

Happiness is fleeting

Achieving a difficult long-term goal makes us happy. But once you reach the goal, there will be another thing to pursue to make you happy.

That is because our ideal self is always a few steps away from us. What matters is not that we achieve the plateaus of success, but that we're continually moving towards them.

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Sadder and Sadder

There is a huge industry built on Happiness, ranging from Self-help Gurus to Yoga.

All data points south even after all this as people are getting sadder, not happier.

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IDEAS

Finding meaning above happiness

For many people, the pursuit of happiness is the meaning of life itself.

However, Friedrich Nietzsche saw the pursuit of happiness as a pointless waste of human life. He was instead dedicated to the idea of finding meaning in life where people are willing to undertake great suffering in the name of a goal they have set.

  • "I'll be happy when..."
  • Problems come and go quickly
  • Material things bring happiness
  • Perfection is the key to happiness
  • Stability equates to happiness
  • "My parents had it harder than I did..."

All of these are myths that give off the precedent that this is what happiness should be but it is mostly consumed by denial, detractory, and envy. Being able to accept the good with the bad will aid us into finding ourselves and explore what happiness truly means for us.

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