Arbitrary Meanings And Denotations - Deepstash
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Arbitrary Meanings And Denotations

If we read the self-help literature, we will find potentially confusing discussions of guilt, regret, and shame. It seems we have fallen prey to accepting Humpty Dumpty’s assertion “When I use a word… it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.” To clarify the confusion surrounding guilt, regret, and shame, let’s simply rely on denotation to help us clarify and differentiate.

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The Toxicity Of Worry

Smith, Everly, and Haight learned that worry (repetitive concern) was a significantly toxic psychological process that was the essence of what we called stress, and was a major determinant of burnout (personal exhaustion). Worry predicted psychological disorders and ...

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What Good Is Knowledge?

In 1597, Sir Francis Bacon wrote in his Meditationes Sacrae that knowledge itself is power. It influences. It empowers. So how can information help us release guilt, regret, shame, and worry?

We can understand that guilt, regret, shame, and worry are no...

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Fuel And Catalyst

We are living in an epidemic of social alienation and depression. Cognitive psychologists tell us that depression is often a result of how we interpret the world around us and the role we play in it. Feelings of guilt, regret, and shame can fuel the fir...

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What Guilt Is

Guilt, simply said, is a belief in culpability or responsibility for some perceived offense or wrongdoing. There are largely 4 types of guilt:

  1. Guilt for doing something you should not have
  2. Guilt for not doing something you shou...

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What Shame Is

Shame is the angst and distress often associated with guilt. It involves humiliation, a loss of honor or respect. Shame can take stressful regret and turn it into a disaster.

Shame is not healthy. It serves no useful purpose.

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Are We 100% Guilty?

Second, if our analysis reveals taking responsibility is warranted, then we can and should determine if we are 100% responsible. If we are not 100% responsible, we can and should lessen the burden, defuse the guilt by sharing it with others. Nothing happens in a vacuum. M...

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Stressor-To-Outcome Dynamic

In the early 1990s, Kenneth Smith and George S. Everly, as well as others, began a research project that has now spanned 30 years. Their initial goal was to discover what factors in the workplace contributed most to psychological burnout and stress-related physical illness.

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Are We Truly Guilty?

First, we can and should determine if we are truly culpable for the offense or wrongdoing. Sometimes we accept responsibility because we want to believe we can control all adversities in our lives. Or sometimes we accept responsibility because it’s what we or others expe...

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Own The Wrongdoing. Apologize For It. Correct It. Do Better.

Third, if we determine that the guilt is warranted and we are 100% culpable, then we can and should simply own it; Apologize; try to correct the problem, if possible. Then we can and should borrow from Maya Angelou and say to ourselves, “If I had known better, I would hav...

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What Regret Is

A frequent corollary of guilt is regret. Frankly, regret can be a natural and healthy response to guilt. Regret involves accepting responsibility for some perceived offense or wrongdoing and being remorseful about it. It is often related to thoughts of contrition or repe...

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CURATED FROM

IDEAS CURATED BY

xarikleia

“An idea is something that won’t work unless you do.” - Thomas A. Edison

Guilt, regret, shame, and worry are not 4 independent stressors, but are often interrelated. They represent a virtual linear cascade that builds in intensity and duration, like a musical crescendo. Which of the 4 do you believe the crescendo is? You’d be surprised.

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