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How it can change your relationship
In short, knowing what makes you tick and what doesn't can help you empathize with people a little better .
When you realize what your partner does and doesn't care about, you can empathize better. Your reasons for fighting make a little more sense. When you understand why you're fighting, you're in a better position to come up with a solution.
Beyond fighting less (or at least more productively), the concept of love languages is a great for maintaining the relationship, too. For example, I know both of us feel affection by spending quality time together, so I know it's important to schedule this time to keeping our relationship strong. If we ever had a long distance relationship, we'd probably struggle quite a bit with it, and we'd need to put in more effort than people who don't speak the language of quality time. When you've been in a relationship for a long time, it's easy to get complacent and let things get stale. When you know your partner's love language, it's incredibly easy to recharge. It's like a cheat code for your relationship.
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Different dialects
As Chapman points out, there are different "dialects" for each language, too. For example, my primary language is quality time, but I also express and feel affection through words of affirmation and physical touch to some degree.
On the flip side, it's useful to know how you don't
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Intro
Getting to know a person in a romantic relationship is a gradual process. Over time, you learn more and more about them, including their likes and dislikes, and how they think.
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What matters most
You can probably figure out what your language is by simply giving it a little thought, but Chapman offers a 30-question quiz on his website . This is helpful because, if you identify with more than one language, the quiz tells you which ones ...
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That's sort of the idea behind the concept of love languages : they let you in on what makes your partner tick. The idea is: we all express and feel love differently, and understanding those differ...
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Gifts
When you know what your partner does and doesn't care about, it's a pretty big eye opener. For example, for years, I've been giving my significant other small gifts to show that I care. I put a lot of thought into those gifts, and I loved surprising him. It would piss me off when he'd receive the...
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