The Shock Cycle
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Most of the time we don’t second guess them, and even if we do, they often end up overwhelming us.
Negative feelings are very powerful and harder to question: we identify with them effo...
Resilience is most times associated with being tough. But that’s not gonna get you very far with feelings. Don't try to be invulnerable. Aim for flexibility instead.
You cannot avoid or resist all pain in life. But you can learn to live with your discomfort better.
We have trouble dealing with feelings because the usual problem-solving rules don't really apply to them.
When faced with a problem, we can always avoid it or deny it. But attempting to resist negative feelings won’t work. Any attempt at suppression only amplifies them. We must go from avoidance to acceptance.
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Not all intense responses are overreactions.
The problem arises when you start to react in a bigger way than justified. Overreactions never make the situation better.
This way, you can learn to be more in control of your reactions:
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Spending time outside of your apartment can lift your mood.
If you are unable to get outside, add greenery to your space, for some plant therapy.
People who volunteer are likely to have higher self-esteem, psychological well-being, and happiness.
Help someone else out who really needs it.
Regularly eating foods that are filled with nutrients can help you feel more positive and energetic. You will feel better mentally too.
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Our defense mechanisms really kick into high gear during situations where we feel threatened. That doesn’t necessarily mean physically threatened, but also in high-stress environments where ...
Mechanism motto: I’m going to stay as far away from that stressful thing as possible.
The problem with avoidance: Things don’t go away just because you ignore them. That assignment will still need to get done. That conflict with that co-worker will need to be resolved eventually.
Mechanism motto: There’s no way that’s going to happen.
The problem with denial: Denial is more than just avoiding a potentially threatening thought or circumstance—it involves vehemently denying the fact that it even exists. It blinds you with unrealistic optimism.
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You might not be in a position to choose your workspace, but there are quick fixes: look for a spot with natural light from a window or skylight, take a walk outside when you feel stuck, or simply explore a new location.
A new environment can quite literally lead to new ideas.
It's when your brain knows that when you’re in a certain place, you’re taking a certain action.
Take advantage of the way different locations affect you. Our brains love habits, and if we can associate certain qualities with different places, it can help us get into a better working flow.
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Gratitude is intended to change three things: your past, your present, your future.
If you’re not transforming your past, present, and future, then you aren’t fully experiencing the benefits of gratitude.
Stop focusing on what's missing from your life. And rather than measuring yourself against your ideals, measure yourself against where you were before.
When you live in the gain, all you see is progress. What you focus on expands.
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Budget for the life you have. When you’re going through your budget and assigning spending categories, be realistic.
Don’t tell yourself you’ll never buy a single discretionary i...
This becomes a problem when you’re spending for a life you can’t afford. It puts pressure on your budget and encourages you to live in a paycheck to paycheck cycle.
Assess your financial situation, cut back on your expenses, prioritize your money goals, and then come up with a new spending plan.
It’s hard to stick to a budget that doesn’t have a goal.
When there isn’t one, your budget becomes an afterthought rather than a spending plan to reach your financial goals.
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"How are you holding up?"
It is a common question being asked around the world these days. The answers may oscillate between optimism and pessimism throughout the day, making us not trust...
It is difficult to discuss some sensitive subjects, and we are tempted to avoid them. Other times we simply expect our partners to know what we are doing, thinking or what we want.
It is much better to get things out in the open regularly rather than waiting to have big rows that might damage your relationship.
Be curious about your partner’s point of view rather than trying to anticipate every situation. Active listening involves:
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Winning an argument often comes down to who can go the longest without contradicting themselves and keeping sound logic, not direct persuasion of the other party.
Using a single personal experience as the foundation of your argument or your big piece of evidence.
For example, your phone may have broken right after you bought it, but you can’t use that to argue that those phones are not worth the purchase for others.
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