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Behavior Patterns Of HCP
Everybody has bad days or weeks. To tell if someone is a High Conflict Person, we can look for four traits of behavior.
- Lots of all-or-nothing thinking: When problems arise, it is their solution or no solution. They don't compromise or listen to different points of view.
- Intense or unmanaged emotions: HCPs become very emotional about their points of view. Their responses are out of proportion to whatever is happening.
- Extreme behavior or threats: They engage in extreme negative behavior that includes physical harm, spreading lies about someone else, emotional manipulation, or obsessive contact.
- A preoccupation with blaming others: They frequently blame other people close to them or people in authority over them.
Nobody is perfect, but if someone has all four traits, they almost certainly are an HCP.
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High-conflict people (HCP)
- Narcissistic HCPs: They may seem charming at first but think themselves to be superior. They insult, humiliate, mislead, and lack empathy while demanding respect and attention.
- Borderline HCPs: They start out friendly but can suddenly change into b...
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Identifying Toxic People: Emotions To Look For
- Extreme emotions are signs of possible trouble: extreme charm, extreme love, extreme anger.
- Someone that carefully controls their emotions until they lose it, then they become unrecognizable in their lack of control.
- Other emotions...
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Toxic People: Never Trigger Their Deepest Fears
- Narcissistic HCPs fear disrespect. They act in such a way that people inevitably lose respect for them.
- Borderline HCPs fear abandonment. They are a nonstop emotional that makes everyone run away from them.
- Antisocial HCPs fear con...
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Identifying Toxic People: Words To Look For
Each type of toxic people gives clues if you pay attention:
- Narcissistic HCPs: Words that indicate arrogance, entitlement, and a lack of empathy.
- Borderline HCPs: They have victim narratives. You’ll empathize with them because their life kee...
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How You'lll Most Likely Feel Around Toxic People
- With Narcissistic HCPs: You may feel stupid or inadequate. You may feel in awe and flattered that the person is spending time with you.
- With Borderline HCPs: You will want to yell at then to get them to stop behaving in some inappropriate way.
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People That Cause Grief
We all know a few people that cause grief, not merely because they have a bad day but because they have severe problems and are unwilling to change.
We can learn enough to recognize if someone is a "high-conflict person" and avoid them as much as possible.
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Method For Handling HCPs
If you are in a situation where you cannot avoid a high conflict person, use the 4-step CARS method.
- Connect with empathy, attention, and respect. With narcissists and antisocials, emphasize respect. With borderlines, focus on empathy.
- Analy...
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