The unlived life - Deepstash

The unlived life

A person may experience a delayed identity crisis, but it may contain seeds of psychological renewal - the motivation to move into new directions in life.

Instead of ignoring these parts, accept the unlived parts of yourself and learn to read the messages that are contained in it. In doing so, you may discover all sorts of creative and positive ideas, ready to come to light.

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MORE IDEAS FROM Make Peace with Your Unlived Life

The journey of identity exploration often begins at adolescence.

Some people always do what others think is a good idea for them. Only later on in life, they will start to think that they never really pursued their own ideals, but the desires of others. It can become draining and contribute to life choices that don't accommodate their real needs.

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The true self and the shadow self

The idea of a "true self" and a "false or shadow self" has long preoccupied psychologists.

  • Carl Jung viewed the "shadow self" as our unknown, dark side. Jung believed that unless we come to terms with our shadow side, we will become its victim.
  • Similarly, psychologist Erik Erikson introduced the idea of the identity crisis. He said that identity formation has a dark and negative side, and in the process of becoming an adult, these negatives attract you. You have to integrate it into your sense of identity.
  • Donald Winnicott developed the idea further of the "true self" and "false self." He explained that we develop a defensive structure from a young age that may turn into a "false self." Later we will hide or deny our "true self."

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In a public situation, we present a different version of ourselves than from the one at home. Every profession has unspoken agreements about which manners are acceptable, and which are not.

It is then the purpose of the persona to suppress the impulses and emotions that are not considered socially acceptable. The difficulty is when one becomes so identified with his persona that he loses all sense of self. The result is an inflated persona with excessive concern for what people think and a lack of courage to endure conflict and refuse others' wishes.

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Our inner 'demons'

Our inner Demons, or inner voices, make us do irrational, stupid and selfish things, based out of fear.

We hide and distract ourselves from our inner voice, which is nothing but our fear and insecurities, talking to us.

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Your external reality is a direct reflection of your internal state: thoughts, emotions, beliefs, your sense of identity, and your world- view. Once you shift your internal state, everything around you will transform to match. What does your external world show is going on for you internally? If you don’t like your external reality, feel the contraction completely so you can move through it into expansion and watch how everything that lights you up multiplies.

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