Why Self-Help Might Actually Be Making You Less Happy
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
In our consumer culture, we end up buying more and doing more. To be satisfied is almost considered an offense because it means you're not chasing after the next thing.
Part of the same vicio...
Taking secularization into account, the idea that we don't live in order to obtain some kind of salvation in the afterlife leads to the belief that we have to achieve everything we desire in the here and now.
If we miss out on anything in this life, it is seen as some kind of existential failure. Carried to an extreme, it is tragic because it's rarely a recipe for a good life.
We gain from it the chance to engage in activities and experiences that are deeper and more meaningful. Because the mentality of fearing that we will miss out makes us always worried that something better might be waiting for us.
And moving through life, where everything becomes a means to the next thing, prevents us from understanding that certain things are inherently valuable and meaningful in and of themselves.
Happiness, like other emotions, is not something you acquire. It is something you are.
This implies that happiness is not a goal that you can reach. It is a side effect of a particular se...
While pleasure is correlated with happiness, pursuing pleasure does not cause happiness.
People who focus their energy on materialistic and superficial pleasures end up more anxious and less happy in the long run. Pleasure is necessary, but it's insufficient.
Failing to meet your own expectations is not the opposite of happiness. Your ability to fail and still appreciate the experience is key to happiness.
The joy is not in getting what you want, but the process of working towards it, then raising the bar, and doing it again. If you fail, learn from it.
Well-being can be broken into five elements:
If you improve ...
Pessimism comes naturally to people because thinking about the bad stuff that could happen helps us to prepare for survival.
The problem is that pessimists think bad events are permanent and unchangeable. "I think my interview is going to be a disaster." We need to learn to recognize what we're saying to ourselves and then argue against it. "I've done many interviews in my life, and they generally turn out well."
Meditation - mindfulness, focusing on the moment - is an excellent anti-anxiety, anti-anger tool..But accepting suffering and finding contentment in that means you can't move into doing something good in the future.
One important idea is hope. Positive human future doesn't come about by accident - it needs hopeful people who plan for it and make it happen.