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Being a people-pleaser

Being a people-pleaser

If you ever say "yes", when you want to say "no", or nod in agreement when you don't agree, you've probably experienced people pleasing.

People-pleasing is linked to a person's self-worth. A people pleaser hopes that saying yes will help him/her feel liked, but this could lead to feeling burned out, or cause unhappiness and lack of fulfillment.

The good news is that behavior can be changed. It is not easy, but making small changes will bring the desired result.

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7.17K reads

MORE IDEAS ON THIS

Mahatma Gandhi

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits and your habits become your values.”

MAHATMA GANDHI

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The Word "No"

If we always say "yes" to others, we are saying "no" to ourselves. We lose sight of our own priorities and instead live by other people's standards. Saying "no" at first may bring feelings of guilt. But "no" is just a word.

You may find it difficult to say no or may fear to disapp...

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Become Clear On Who You Are

When we get clear on who we really are and what we stand for, we have a strong sense of self.

If you have been pleasing others for a long time, you may have lost sight of what is important to you. You may not have an opinion of your own.

Find out what your core valu...

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Drop the Label

When you label yourself with "I am...," it has the potential to become your identity. "I am a people pleaser. I am not liked."

Never describe yourself as a people pleaser. Instead, describe your behavior as you make a decision to change it.

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Develop Awareness Of Your Behavior

People are often unaware of their people-pleasing behavior. The habit can become so ingrained that it's automatic.

It takes full commitment to stay aware with an intention to change. Write a list of all the things you would normally do in an effort to please. Take note of ...

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Pause Before Responding

Decide to pause before you respond. It could prevent you from responding the usual way. If you are unsure of how you would like to respond, let the person know you will get back to them. Or let them know you will need to check your calendar first.

Don't beat yourself up fo...

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Beliefs And Values

You have a set of beliefs behind each one of your values. If your beliefs around your values are too general, they can prevent you from changing your people-pleasing habits.

For example, "I am always there for people who need me" is too general and could include every ...

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4.17K reads

CURATED FROM

IDEAS CURATED BY

finbb

Deep thinker. Like talking about the world, religion and politics.

Related collections

Other curated ideas on this topic:

The people pleaser

The people pleaser

There's a high price for continually saying yes to the thing you just don't want to do.

When your top priority is to be liked all the time, you suppress and repress who you are. The good news is that it is a habit you can change.

Stop Being a People Pleaser

  • Keep in mind that the people that now in adulthood surround you (colleagues, friends, partners) are most likely very different from the ones that influenced your anxieties during childhood.
  • Be aware of the side effects of people-pleasing: even if you have...

People Pleasing

People who are driven by pleasing people are neither honest or authentic because they may say yes to things they don't really want to do just because they do not want to disagree because of the fear of being disliked.

If you find yourself to be a people-pleaser, rethink y...

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