It’s Not Personal - Deepstash

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Stop Fearing Critical Feedback — Fear Not Getting It Instead

It’s Not Personal

Unless it is completely uncalled for, negative feedback generally has the intention of informing us about our areas of improvement. If feedback isn’t provided, you may not grow and improve. If no one tells you that you are doing something wrong, you will keep doing it wrongly forever.

Providing timely feedback may be a sign that the manager cares and wants you to improve.

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Stop Fearing Critical Feedback — Fear Not Getting It Instead

Stop Fearing Critical Feedback — Fear Not Getting It Instead

https://doist.com/blog/handle-negative-feedback/

doist.com

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Key Ideas

Getting Negative Feedback

... is not the best thing to happen at work. It normally leads to a racing mind, emotional discomfort and increased blood pressure.

We may try to defend ourselves, or brush aside the feedback. We can also be stuck in a loop of negative thoughts.

It’s Not Personal

Unless it is completely uncalled for, negative feedback generally has the intention of informing us about our areas of improvement. If feedback isn’t provided, you may not grow and improve. If no one tells you that you are doing something wrong, you will keep doing it wrongly forever.

Providing timely feedback may be a sign that the manager cares and wants you to improve.

Don’t Shoot The Messenger

One should not be defensive when provided with negative feedback, and understand that it is for our own good.

One needs to act on the feedback by approaching it from a neutral and objective standpoint, not taking it as a personal attack. Instead of reacting, just pause and listen. Reflect on the feedback, giving yourself some time and space to respond with a level head.

How To Accept Constructive Feedback

  1. Specify exactly whose opinion you are worried about.
  2. Identify the source of your fear.
  3. Don’t get defensive as a reflex action.
  4. Drill through the talk to find the real areas of concern.
  5. Politely disagree with anything you think isn’t right.
  6. Maintain a balanced posture and remain civil.
  7. Think about how you will be able to handle it.
  8. Remember that perceptions and opinions can change.
  9. Check your existing belief patterns.

Learn and Improvise

Develop an attitude to learn and improvise, every day. Regular negative feedback tapers our sensitive, reactive nature by making us thick-skinned and takes us on the path to make ourselves better.

Ask For Feedback

  1. Set up a 1-on-1 meeting with your boss proactively and ask for feedback.
  2. Feel the discomfort and endure it, removing any initial fear or resistance.
  3. Listen to understand, not to blurt out your defence.
  4. Express your gratitude to the person giving the feedback.
  5. Regularly ask for advice with your bosses and peers.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Negative Feedback
Negative feedback is a more important component of the feedback cycle than positive feedback. 92% of people say in a study that negative feedback improves workplace performance.
Why are people scared of Feedback

Normally people react with caution and fear towards negative feedback, but it is much better than no feedback at all.

Informing the colleague/subordinate/client/customer or individual about something that is not working, is always beneficial, and builds transparency and trust.

Check how it impacts the person

The fundamental goal of giving feedback is to help the person you’re giving it to. They should realize that you are not trying to make them feel bad, and this is an exercise to help make them better.

How it impacts each individual is going to be different so a tailor-made approach is required. 

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Tips for giving negative feedback
  • Be direct by avoiding the feedback"sanwich"(which can dilute the message and sounds insincere);
  • Don't let criticism accumulate: schedule weekly check-ins with your t...
Negative vs. Positive Feedback
Positive feedback isn’t the best way to drive results and negative feedback isn’t actually all that bad:
  • Any negative feedback should be clear and timely yet not so harsh as to be pe...
For feedback to be effective...
  • Be Specific;
  • Be Immediate: you wait too long, it can have less impact and make it harder for the person to grasp exactly what needs changing;
  • Tie Feedback to Goals: it gives the receiver a clear goal to work towards and reason why you’ve given them this feedback;
  • Ensure Feedback Is Actionable;
  • Use the Right Language;
  • Don't avoid it: when feedback is given openly and honestly, it can be extremely valuable for your organization.
Plussing
Is a way to provide feedback and critique without creating fear or negative feelings, branded by the animation studio Pixar. 

Imagine an art director giving feedback to an animator on some sketches for Pixar’s next blockbuster movie and instead of saying something like “but the characters expression is all wrong,” they’ll frame it using more encouraging and creative words like and or what if: “what if we could make their expression more (enthusiastic, brazen, etc).

Feedback
Feedback

Feedback provides an opportunity to gain insights about a person's personal and professional actions.
Without feedback, we will move in the same direction without realizing our shortcomings. ...

Types of feedback
  • Positive vs. negative. Positive feedback confirms that someone is taking good action, while negative feedback shows what actions need to be corrected.
  • Formal vs. informal. Formal feedback is given on a set schedule, and informal feedback is short and follows after an action or event.
  • Annual vs. monthly
  • Verbal vs. written
  • Manager vs. peer
Effective feedback
Effective feedback is:
  • Objective. Don't let your personal feelings get in the way.
  • Timely. Feedback should follow when the event is still fresh.
  • Constructive. Give respect and show that you have their best interests in mind.
  • Actionable. Feedback must include immediate next steps.
  • Warranted. Give your employees room for mistakes and learn from them.

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Negativity bias and feedback
Receiving criticism will always have a greater impact than receiving praise.

And we remember criticism strongly but inaccurately. But although criticism is more lik...

Criteria for effective feedback
  • The feedback provider is credible in the eyes of the feedback recipient;
  • The feedback provider is trusted by the feedback recipient;
  • The feedback is conveyed with good intentions;
  • The timing and circumstances of giving the feedback are appropriate;
  • The feedback is given in an interactive manner;
  • The feedback message is clear;
  • The feedback is helpful to recipient.
3. Be Specific With Your Feedback

The more specific your feedback, the more actionable it is for the one receiving it. Example: Asking for an article on communication is vague while asking for one on public speaking is speci...

4. Comment On Actionable Things

To help people improve talk about things they can do something about, rather than those out of their control. Critiquing the former makes your criticism constructive; critiquing the latter makes the person feel bad as they can’t do anything about it, even if they want to.

Understand the person’s situation and his/her objectives, then provide your critique based on that. And if you need to talk about something out of their control, balance it out by talking about things they can control.

5. Give Improvement Recommendations

Give recommendations on what the person can do to improve so they have a clear idea of what you have in mind and get a strong call-to-action.

With your recommendations, (a) be specific with your suggestions and (b) briefly explain the rationale behind the recommendation. Also, try to limit examples to one per point to make your case more impactful.

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Defining group norms
Defining group norms

Group norms are the set of informal and formal ground rules that specify how people interact. The rules help members of the group determine how to behave. Advantages of clear g...

Intentionally create group norms

Every team has rules, but few are intentionally crafted. This could have a negative impact. For example:

  • In a team of two, it's easy to create short back-and-forth emails. As more team members join, it becomes more complex keeping everyone in the loop. Emails may include reply-alls about weekend plans and real-time decision-making, leading to unread emails and lost information.
  • A single individual dictates the rules for the group. He may inadvertently communicate late at night that can affect an entire company.
How to create healthy group norms

Setting up norms is easiest when the team is first created. It may take a special meeting at the start, but it saves time and diminish problems down the road.

Shifting group norms in an established team is possible, too. Cultivate positive behavioral expectations on high-functioning teams.

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