What We Can Control - Deepstash

What We Can Control

  • We cannot control most of the outside events and circumstances including our past, the weather, natural disasters or freak accidents.

  • We cannot control what other people say, think or feel about us.

  • What we can control is what we think, say or do. We can choose to react or not react. We suffer because we catastrophize the stuff that happens around us, unable to understand that the pain is unavoidable, but the suffering is avoidable. The day we stop that internal suffering, we become invincible.

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Making A Crisis Out Of Everything

Our diminishing resilience and decreasing psychological threshold of handling pain and struggle is, in turn, making everything look like a crisis.

We are making a catastrophe out of everything, getting offended at the drop of a hat, mostly for no legitimate reason other than our own ego-filled state of being.

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Our focus on the self has made us fearful and overwhelmed, especially in times of crisis. Part of our anxiety is the constant focus on oneself. Even if we do focus on others, it is only to judge them about how they feel about us, and what they think about us.

If instead of our inner selfishness, we find a greater cause to endure the crisis or risk, some deeper purpose or mission that eclipses our ego, then the crisis is taken care of.

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Investing in the happiness and wellbeing of others, building relationships and making others' lives a little bit easier has a hidden benefit: Insurance.

By spreading your happiness you automatically take care of your hard days, as that is when your investment pays off in ways you cannot imagine. Take care of people around you, and they will take care of you in tough times.

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  • No matter how good we expect life to be, the pain, suffering, and the constant struggle is what gives meaning to life. The sweet isn't sweet without the sour.

  • It is through our hardships that we are grateful towards what we have and it is our unpleasant experiences that push us out of our comfort zone and make us learn lifelong lessons.

  • Pain is good, and you can leverage your hardships to carve out a diamond out of you.

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Psychological resilience is not about fake positivity and takes its power from our negative feelings. It makes our anger, sadness, failure and self-loathing into something useful and productive.

When we become sufficiently resilient, we are unstoppable and limitless.

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If we expect others to be rude, impolite, backstabbing and untrustworthy, they won't really surprise us. It somehow makes our day easier, if we know it in advance. We understand beforehand that life is going to be hard, but we will handle it and learn from it. This is inner optimism but outer pessimism.

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During 2020, some have lost loved ones, some are working on the front lines, while other's don't have enough food or a safe place to live.

If you are not one of these people, you may feel gratitude, and maybe a bit of guilt. You may feel uncomfortable or even shameful to be enjoying comforts while others are in distress.

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Resilience

It's the skill that enables us to recover quickly from difficulties. It means adapting well in the face of trauma, tragedy or significant stress.

We build our resilience by learning to cope with challenges. 

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Get used to the problem

When you are first confronted with a problem, it can all seem daunting. Don't dive right in. 

Take a break, go for a walk, ask for some time to think things over, close your eyes for 10 minutes, or even hit the gym. Whatever you do, give yourself some time to get used to the problem. 

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