“I don’t” is experienced as a choice, so it feels empowering. “I can’t” isn’t a choice, is a restriction.
In other words, the phrase "I don't" is a psychologically empowering way to say no, while the phrase "I can't" is a psychologically draining way to say no.
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Similar ideas to Words frame your sense of empowerment and control
Overworked and overburdened is a recipe for unhappiness. So if you want to be happy, get some quick wins by saying no.
But say no the right way: say "I don't." Using the phrase "I don't" is more effective than saying "I can't."
Research has found that using the phrase “I can’t” results in decreased self-control when compared to using the words “I don’t”.
When trying to break bad habits say “I don’t [bad habit]” instead of “I can’t [bad habit]” .
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