Words frame your sense of empowerment and control
“I don’t” is experienced as a choice, so it feels empowering. “I can’t” isn’t a choice, is a restriction.
In other words, the phrase "I don't" is a psychologically empowering way to say no, while the phrase "I can't" is a psychologically draining way to say no.
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Say "no" to almost everything
Overworked and overburdened is a recipe for unhappiness. So if you want to be happy, get some quick wins by saying no.
But say no the right way: say "I don't." Using the phrase "I don't" is more effective than saying "I can't."
Use “I Don’t” Instead Of “I Can’t”
Research has found that using the phrase “I can’t” results in decreased self-control when compared to using the words “I don’t”.
When trying to break bad habits say “I don’t [bad habit]” instead of “I can’t [bad habit]” .
Choose your words wisely
- Stay away from starting sentences with “you."
- Hear the other person out first. Don’t apologize, but acknowledge that there is a problem.
- Ask questions for clarity, and be sure that you understand all the facts before you proceed with a resolution. ...
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