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How to Be a Good Friend

The gift of vulnerability

Ideal friends know how to show weakness. They let us know awkward and embarrassing things about themselves.

They show how much they trust us by confessing mistakes and hardships that have the potential to open them up to possible humiliation from the world beyond.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

How to Be a Good Friend

How to Be a Good Friend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGinimRIl04

youtube.com

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Key Ideas

The image of a "good friend"

Some of the reasons why we are not that good at friendships is the fact that we don't have a clear idea of what a really good friend might be like.

Maybe we should try to come up with a list of traits for an ideal friend, so as to focus our desires to acquire the sort of character we would want to find in others.

The gift of vulnerability

Ideal friends know how to show weakness. They let us know awkward and embarrassing things about themselves.

They show how much they trust us by confessing mistakes and hardships that have the potential to open them up to possible humiliation from the world beyond.

Embracing and understanding imperfection

Ideals friends are genuinely interested in our hardships; they are not shocked by the odd and stupid things we've done.

They are not judgmental or critical of our weaknesses, because they are well aware of their own more troubled sides.

The gift of reassurance

Ideal friends are reassuring. They don't just flatter - they understand how easily we lose perspective, panic and underestimate our own abilities.

Sometimes, they get us to laugh at ourselves when we would be inclined to indulge in self-pity or rage.

Building self-understanding

A good friend helps us build our self-understanding.

Good friends listen to us and help us piece together the best accounts of our fears and excitements. Because there are so many things we don't entirely comprehend about who we are.

Good friends help us think

We sometimes don't quite know what we think until a good friend asks us to expand on a thought, to explain why we adhere to it and to find possible objections for it.

Good friends help us to like ourselves

They like us in ways we are not easily able to like ourselves.

Usually, we are more aware of our shortcomings than of our good parts. We need a friend because we are liable to be so very unfriendly towards ourselves.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

The People Pleaser
It's the person that feels that most of the time there is no other option but to adjust to the expectations of others, and yet harbors a lot of hidden resentment.
A Type Of Lie
People-pleasing is essentially a form of lying.

And we do it not to obtain some sort of advantage over someone, but because we deeply fear the annoyance and dissatisfaction of the people around us.

Origins Of People Pleasing
It is related to being around people (usually our parents) who seem to have a really hard time and even be unable to accept and forgive some odd but sometimes necessary facts about their child.

To survive, we decide to be responsive to what others expect us to do and be, leaving aside what we really want.

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Socrates

“Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant.”

Socrates
Don't Gossip

Most of us want to be popular and resort to tactics like showing of and gossiping. The long term affects of being a gossip monger (losing trust and respect) outweigh any short term popularity you get.

Don't judge your friends

Most of our judgments towards our friends are wrong, and doing so leads to you being judged wrongly too.

Do not form opinions and pass judgments (not even mentally) and be happy to see your friendships blossom.

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Close friendship

To be best friends, you are committed to always be on standby. It's not that hard to be there for someone when you can physically be there, but when you're separated by state or time zone, ...

Keep creating shared experiences

When you see a friend regularly, you develop a collection of shared memories. You will also have an intimate understanding of what they're up to generally. If you're separated long-term, those experiences will shrink.

It's important to create something you share with the other individual, not just exchanging information about past experiences. The more opportunities you give yourself to connect, the more organically you'll get to know your friend's new life.

It's going to take more effort

The idea that you can sustain a friendship and pick up right where you left off after long stretches of silence is a myth. A relationship grows stronger through nurturing.
Although long-distance hacks can work for a time, there's no replacement for in-person interaction. It's more expensive and more of a hassle, but it's the best way to recharge a long-distance friendship.

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Be opportunistic

Learn to notice opportunities for potential friends. 
We let many friendship opportunities pass us by because we feel awkward or too shy. Instead of small talk, invite them for coffe...

Make yourself vulnerable

We have to put our fears aside that someone might not like us or may have too many friends already.

If you like someone you meet, ask to swap numbers and follow through with an invitation to socialize.

Start by doing an activity together

Suggest an activity that you can do together. It will anchor your time together and give you something to focus on or talk about.

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Letters Of Complaint

Be polite. The person who gets your letter will seldom be the one who wronged you. And is unlikely to pass it on to the desired recipient if you are insulting and raging.

Make plain...

Letters To Friends

Always remember that your job, writing to a friend, is to entertain. That can mean revelling in the odd pratfall. So, don’t just write about the mundane and pleasant things, try to give them the whole picture and make them feel something.

Letters Of Condolence
  • You are extending respect and friendship. Write quickly, and preferably by hand.
  • You’ll want to calibrate what you write to your relationship both with the recipient and with the deceased. Make it personal.
  • If you knew the deceased well, sharing a couple of warm memories will let the recipient feel there’s a shared bond.
  • If you didn’t know the deceased, you can make respectful reference to what you knew of them.
  • Use tact. Don’t tell the recipient how they should be feeling.
  • If you’re finding it hard to know what to say, you can acknowledge that; but don’t harp on it.
  • Avoid operatic, or competitive, expressions of grief.
  • Acknowledge, but don’t belabour, the grief and pain they feel.
  • Focus on the individual excellence of the deceased rather than the consequences of the loss itself.
  • Be tactful of their religion even if you don’t believe in it. 

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Win Arguments
... without making enemies:
  • Make sure you communicate you are not there to fight (using your tone of voice, for example).
  • Avoid making stateme...
Raising Your Voice
When the conversation gets heated, we tend to raise our voices and talk faster. This is a dangerous path because now the ability of both sides to change their minds is close to zero. We dig even deeper into our initial positions and beliefs and no matter how good an argument is, it is not going to be received by the other side.

You can sense this happening when people rush to talk over one another.

Releasing Tension
  • Slowing things down: take a deep breath before speaking, to create a pause, to reduce the tension and to open up the other person to your position.
  • Inflections: upward inflections are good for de-escalating conflict because they show you are not there to control and command.
  • The ability to crack a joke and the ability to take a joke and laugh make you more persuasive, give the impression of being on the same side and release the tension.

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Remember what’s essential about holidays
Do you care deeply about your religion? Do you care most about spending time with your loved ones? Maybe certain traditions matter tremendously to you. Maybe you love the feeling of giving (of which, ...
Start to let go of the non-essential
Talk to others about letting go of the traditions you don’t like. Yes, letting go can feel painful at times, but think of the downsides of the things you’re letting go. Think of the simplicity you’re creating. And feel the relief of relaxing around letting go.
Let’s let go of the myth that you have to spend to give:
  • Gift your family with some small experiences, such as caroling, baking, watching It’s a Wonderful Life;
  • Volunteer as a family at a homeless shelter.
  • Make meaningful gifts. A video of memories. A scrapbook.
  • Bake gifts.
  • Have an experience instead of giving material goods: do something fun together, go to the beach or a lake.
  • Give the gift of your expertise. Are you good at fixing cars? Teaching music? Teaching cooking? Magic tricks? Help or teach someone something you’re good at.
A Definition of values
A Definition of values

 “(Values) are the principles that give our lives meaning and allow us to persevere through adversity” 

- The Self-Confidence Workbook.&...

Choosing Core Values
  1. Choose your top 6-8 values from a wide-ranging list of values.
  2. Think of three to six people you most admire or love. Consider why they are so important to you. 

  3. See a career counsellor as they are able to help match their clients to a compatible career area.

  4. Use an online values inventory. 
  5. Observe yourself and learn. If you experience a lot of dissatisfaction with your choices, you may not be living up to your values or you may need to re-evaluate what is most important to you.
  6. Focus on the bitter and the sweet in your life. These moments could direct you to what you care about most.
Difficult Choices

At times two cherished values will be in conflict.  

Knowing why you are choosing Value 1 instead of Value 2 in that instance can be helpful in resolving any inner conflict you may feel.  

Nostalgia is overrated

If you start every conversation with, “Hey, remember that time when… ?” you and your friend will die of boredom.

You need new things, new memories, rather than using nostalgia as t...

It’s good to have “your thing”

People get busy and life has dramatic ups and downs, but if you watch Drag Race every Friday together or bake Betty Crocker cookies every month, you have something to anchor you through the chaos of life.

“Best friend” is a tier, not a person

Friendship is not a monogamous relationship; there is room for more than one. When you’ve known someone for years, try to be confident in the bond you’ve got. 

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Telehealth
Telehealth

Medical services are always going to be at high demand, no matter the area or the circumstances. One way to ensure that people have faster access to medical services, especially in times of crisis,...

Telehealth services

Among the most known telehealth services:

  • patient portal: you have the possibility to keep track of your health record while being able to communicate securely with your
    doctor
  • virtual doctor appointments: extremely useful for persons who do not need an in-person physical examination
  • store and forward: this kind of service enables the electronic transmission of medical documents
  • remote patient monitoring: it allows your doctor to monitor your health from the comfort of your home by using wearable devices
  • mobile health: through mobile health applications, you can keep better track of your health.
Telehealth and its benefits

Among the benefits of the telehealth:

  • better access to medical care: especially for individuals with mobility issues or living far from a doctor
  • improves care quality
  • reduces care cost: you do not need to travel anymore
  • increases patient's satisfaction: especially by saving time.

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