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Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.
The ideal complaint
The actual words don't matter. What counts is the lightness of tone that comes from an impression of the legitimacy or our position. For example:
- I love this song as well, but at the moment, I need to get some sleep (when someone is playing their music loudly near you)
- I know it's not your fault, but a fly does seem to have entangled itself in the minestrone (when you're in a restaurant and you found something inappropriate in your food)
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MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE
We may sometimes be in situations where a stranger will do something very irritating or discomforting: They may turn up their music too loudly. They may assign us to a hotel room where the air conditioning will have a high pitched whine. In a restaurant, a fly may be floating in the soup.
We're seldom very good at perceiving someone's motives when an incident drives us mad. We see intention where there was none and escalate a situation when the agitated response is not warranted.
The less we like ourselves, the more we may appear in our own eyes as plausibl...
When dealing with someone annoying, the way forward is not with silence or rage. We are ideally looking for a way to be polite and honest, or civil and forthright.
To achieve this, we should accept that not everything we desire will please others. We could explore and hold...
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Most of us are beyond weather, parking and traffic-related conversations at parties. We have deep, substantial topics to discuss, which are not hollow and unproductive like most party small talks are.
Small talk has its benefits, it is designed to prevent controversies and hurt, smartly av...
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published 4 ideas
Diplomacy evolved initially to deal with problems in the relationships between countries.
Instead of leaders infuriating each other and making decisions in the heat of the moment, they learnt to send emissaries who could state things in less inflammatory ways, who wouldn't take the iss...
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We almost all have a character inside our minds that tends to visit us late at night when we're very tired, telling us terrible things in order to destroy our self-confidence and self-compassion.
Too often, we don't know how to answer back. We forget that there might be an...
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