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‘My Manager’s Venting Is Stressing Me Out’
Negativity-Free Meetings
Preserve your sanity in a VC meeting by these methods:
- Introduce ground rules in the meeting requesting it to be free of negative talk, on the pretext of detoxing the audience/team members and improving their mental health.
- Intentionally keep things positive, promoting sharing of positive things and ending the meeting on a high note, so that the negative is by default kept out, without pinpointing it.
- In case a higher-up or a boss is the one with the negative talk, one can bite the bullet and request the person personally and politely to stop or reduce the negative banter.
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Key Ideas
Venting At The Office
Due to the stress accumulation, many team members and managers vent out in their daily team meetings. Whether it’s work problems, family struggle, or mental health, they find it therapeutic to unload it to others.
This kind of venting, however, can be stressful for others, especially if they are being forced to listen. Negative ranting wears down the listener and uses up the emotional bandwidth, making them anxious.
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Difficulties in connecting with other people
Even tough we are today living in a world where everybody is virtually connected to everybody, there seems to be a serious issue with people actually succeeding to connect with each other.
Make friends and reconnect with old ones:
While connecting and making new friends can prove quite exhausting sometimes, it does eventually pay off. In order to find it easier to know new people, make new friends and reconnect with the old ones:
- Learn to actually ask your friends for the things you want from them.
- Seek professional help to forgive and love yourself first: the empathy that you feel for yourself is a key to the empathy that you end up feeling for the others.
- Learn to say no, even when you fear the possible disappointment that this can lead to.
- Accept your friends without judging them.
- Learn to be honest with your friends: this always goes a long way.
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Key Ideas
Happiness and emotional diversity
While most of us believe that happiness is the key to a long and healthy life, meaning first and foremost a life without stress, recent studies have shown that actually, it is emotional diversity t...
Emotional diversity experiments
In a recent study, focused on measuring the systematic inflammation, a large number of participants were asked to rate the extent to which they had experienced both positive and negative emotions throughout the day, for 30 days. As a result, the people who experienced a wider range of positive emotions were also the ones who had the lowest rates of inflammation.
Emodiversity and its benefits
Experiencing both negative and positive emotions can lead to better mental and physical health.
Furthermore, the chances to get depression or even bad habits seem to be smaller in this particular case when compared to individuals who experience only positive emotions.
one more idea
Bad at delegating
There is a situation where your manager will assign you a project but not give enough instruction, hoping you will just figure it out. When the project is mostly completed, your manager may finally...
Leaving out the guesswork
Your manager may not put in the effort up front to articulate the expectations she/he has so that you're on the same page from the start. It may leave you guessing what successful completion might look like, and then frustrate you both when you think wrong.
To be fair, at a certain level of seniority, it becomes more reasonable for a manager to expect you to know what you're doing and work out the details by yourself. But even then, a good manager knows when to invest the time to get more aligned on those things.
Dealing with a lack of direction
- Name the issue. Your manager might already be aware of the problem.
- If your boss wants you to take more ownership, you can say that you want to take more ownership for your projects but that you want to do so with confidence knowing what she/he is envisioning.
- You may have to draw those details out of your boss with each new assignment.
- Once you get started on the work, consider giving an early view of your work to your manager, to have a chance to be provided with input early on.
- It may take a few rounds to figure out exactly what something should be.