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Do You Have a Fear of Disappointing Others? How to Conquer It for Good
Don’t Take Disappointment Personally
We fear others' reactions as if others are going to be disappointed by us on a personal level. The disappointment need not be taken personally as the other person may be upset at the situation or towards the outside world, and how their plan did not work out.
Do not over-analyse the situation, and base your actions on your core values.
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The Fear Of Disappointing Others
If one’s goal is to please everyone, the road then leads directly to failure and disappointment. Even if we are absolutely right, it is a subjective figure in the eyes of others, due to everyone having a different set of values.
Other people, including friends, family and strangers have diverse ideas about what is right or wrong, and nobody can perfectly align with others. The fear of disappointing others can be a powerful negative emotion, that can be a cause of worry for our mental health.
Comfort Stands In The Way of Growth
Our comfort zone stands in the way of our growth and learning. The only way to conquer fear is to push yourself into uncomfortable situations.
Even small tasks that make you uncomfortable gets the momentum going towards bigger challenges.
The Fear of Disappointing Others And Past Trauma
Our fear of disappointing others could just be something created because of our childhood, past relationships or some traumatic experience in our lives.
How we react tells us about who we are.
Understanding How We Relate To Others
The Attachment theory claims we have different ways of behaving with regards to commitment and intimacy, and this is related largely to our upbringing and life experiences.
One can know the various attachment styles and see where they fit into, having a better understanding of their reactions towards others.
People Pleasing And Boundaries
We may want to make people happy but that does not mean we let them mistake our kindness for weakness.
People can take advantage of a person always wanting to please others. Learn to say No and take control of your lives.
Don’t Take Disappointment Personally
We fear others' reactions as if others are going to be disappointed by us on a personal level. The disappointment need not be taken personally as the other person may be upset at the situation or towards the outside world, and how their plan did not work out.
Do not over-analyse the situation, and base your actions on your core values.
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Indecisive people suffer because they don’t know their inner values and what they care about.
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We are constantly invited to do something, think something, experience something or buy something.
For every social event or task we say yes to, we run the risk of overfilling our lives. It may leave us feeling overstretched, overtired and overwhelmed.
Inability to say "no"
There is often an underlying fear that prevents us from saying no. Perhaps we fear that we are not good enough. We find the compulsive "yes" might help us feel better. However, we cannot continue living at this pace.
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