Feeling Alone in a Relationship? You're not Alone
We used to love solitude when there was hustle-bustle on the streets, but now when the whole world is isolated and the streets are not as before, solitude feels stressful.
These times of crisis and loss have made our coping mechanism become extreme and unpredictable.
This is a professional note extracted from an online article.
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Loneliness is nothing new, but the last decade the feeling has expanded to alarming degrees. Loneliness used to mean being socially isolated, but now it means loss of connection, lack of trust, and mental isolation in between two people sitting next to each other.
The digital vortex offered by the smartphone, where we ‘doom scroll’ all the time, desperately trying to keep up with the avalanche of information and news, hasn’t made things easier.
It happens when your loved one is physically present but has gone absent in all other ways from any sort of relationship.
One can see it when a partner is half-listening to you, distracted on social media, or when during a phone conversation, you can feel that your partner is lost somewhere, and is lagging in his/her response.
Relationship problems during a crisis have only exacerbated, as people live in different countries while being under the same roof.
The current times are such that people already prone to depression, anxiety and stress are being triggered easily, and may not be aware of the internal dynamics of this behaviour.
The path to reconnection is full of hard conversations with the ego kept aside. One can initiate discussions intentionally and set a time limit so that things do not go haywire.
When in a conversation deadlock, one can take a walk together, appreciating the willingness of the partner to engage. It helps to mention the positives and discuss one issue at a time.
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Loneliness has more to do with our perceptions than how much company we have: it is just as possible to feel very lonely surrounded by people as it is to be content with little social contact.
“Loneliness, longing, does not mean one has failed but simply that one is alive.”
One way people have always dealt with loneliness is through creativity. By metamorphosing their reality into art, lonely people throughout history have managed to interchange the sense of community relationships could foster with their creative outputs.
The artist Edward Hopper (1882–1967) is known for his paintings of American cityscapes inhabited by closed-off figures who seem to embody a vision of modern loneliness.
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Major changes can create a sense of loneliness, even if they're positive. You might be leaving a job or starting a new job, ending a relationship or embarking on a new relationship, getting married, getting divorced, [or] starting a family.
When struggling with the adjustment period, it can help to acknowledge the feeling and also acknowledge that it's likely temporary.
There's very specific loneliness that can creep in when you're responsible for the care of another person — be it an elderly parent, a sick sibling, a disabled partner, etc.
So even though it's a big job, it's important to not forget about yourself. Find a supportive friend to talk to without judgment, or attend a support group.
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