Ensure that your rekindled relationship with your former friend has some solid foundation before opening up the private areas of your life, like introducing your spouse. If you go too fast, you may be disappointed if the other person is not as keen on holding friendship as per your expectations.
Even with the best intentions and impeccable plans, things are not always predictable and as per one’s anticipation. The old pal may have some unresolved feelings or they may not be having the time to nurture a friendship anymore, and it is best to prepare for any such outcome in advance, rather than trying to save your face later.
This article will help you understand why some friends stay for years, while others fade away after a few months, or weeks. If you understand the nature of the friendship you have with a person, you can better predict where it's heading, and better understand why this friend behaves the way they do.
Associate: The relationship revolves around that specific thing, and you barely ever talk about anything else.
Useful Contact: With this type of friend, you exchange useful information, job opportunities, industry news, you introduce each other to people, exchange tips on good deals, etc. But, you don’t discuss personal matters with each other.
Favor Friend: This the type of friendship you could have with a nice colleague or neighbor. You help each other with the simple stuff.
Fun Friend: This is the type of friend that makes you take yourself less seriously. The friendship doesn’t require a lot of investment from you; it’s just about relaxing, having a drink, partying, laughing, etc.
Looking back at your childhood with rose-tinted glasses can trick you into thinking it was easy to make friends as a kid. You shared a biscuit, a puzzle and maybe some germs, and you had a friend for life. But the playground is a harsh environment.
There are plenty of Hallmark cards and movie moments dedicated to the joys and deep emotional bonds that come with best friendship, but really, so much of the job description is about ease: A best friend has another couch you can sit on when you're bored of sitting on your own couch but don't actually want to, you know, do anything.
When you see a friend regularly, you develop a collection of shared memories. You will also have an intimate understanding of what they're up to generally. If you're separated long-term, those experiences will shrink.
It's important to create something you share with the other individual, not just exchanging information about past experiences. The more opportunities you give yourself to connect, the more organically you'll get to know your friend's new life.
The idea that you can sustain a friendship and pick up right where you left off after long stretches of silence is a myth. A relationship grows stronger through nurturing. Although long-distance hacks can work for a time, there's no replacement for in-person interaction. It's more expensive and more of a hassle, but it's the best way to recharge a long-distance friendship.