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According to a report in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, an acquaintance has a chance of being your friend after about 50 hours of shared activity or discussions. A friend can be a close (or best) friend after about 200 hours.
Our old and former friends know intimate details of a part of our lives, but do not have an idea about our present selves, due to the years or decades of separation. This can feel disorienting, as suddenly a person with whom one was once so close, appears like a stranger.
Long-lasting, high-quality friendships lower the chance of chronic illnesses, and mortality rates. They boost one’s happiness and can also be a buffer towards anxiety, stress and even depression.
One can consider looking back and reconnect with a lost but cherished friend for emotional support or to relive the long-forgotten times.
It’s important and natural to rekindle a friendship with a solid reason, a purpose that has to be shared with the old friend.
Almost like wooing the former friend, one has to show their best, most honest side and share life experiences that are similar to the other person. One also has to ensure that the connection is genuine and organic, while not coming across as forced or intrusive.
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Understand why some friends stay for years, while others fade away after a few months, or weeks.
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This one you can ask for lifts to the airport, and call during emergencies like car accidents. You don’t rely on your helpmate for emotional support.
Learn to notice opportunities for potential friends.
We let many friendship opportunities pass us by because we feel awkward or too shy. Instead of small talk, invite them for coffe...
We have to put our fears aside that someone might not like us or may have too many friends already.
If you like someone you meet, ask to swap numbers and follow through with an invitation to socialize.
Suggest an activity that you can do together. It will anchor your time together and give you something to focus on or talk about.
F.O.B.O is our inability to decide between different options all of which are decent. It can lead us to paralysis when we’re in the process of making a decision.
For F.O.B.O. to happen, you have to have multiple options. It is mostly a consequence of our world in which everything seems possible.
To beat FOBO, find the Mostly Fine Decision. This is the outcome you’d be ok with, even if it’s not the absolute best possible one.