The Three Behavioral Patterns of People That Are Late

We seem to want leaders who are charming and entertaining, but a stand-up comedian is not the same as an effective leader.

The best leaders are humble rather than charismatic, to the point of being boring.

We've always admired famous people, but our admiration for people who admire themselves is on the rise. But true leaders keep their narcissism in check.

Popular advice focuses on loving yourself above all else. And this creates leaders who are unaware of their limitations. They see leadership as an entitlement. 

Lovers of risk, anxious investors trade frequently and believe they have the edge over others. Many have absolutely no idea what their returns actually were and only remember their good decisions.

For hoarders, money represents security. They abhor risk and may even stockpile cash that they would probably be better off investing — or even spending.

Find an advisor you feel comfortable with who can discuss the right investment approach — and level of risk — for you.

The relationship protector is often family-oriented. If they can support them emotionally and financially, it gives them their sense of achievement at having helped. 

A relationship protector is far less likely to make spontaneous investments when others depend on them, and their conservative approach to saving prepares them for retirement. 

They’re always looking to expand their options, and every financial decision is carefully calculated to maximize growth. 

The opportunity seeker has to watch out for taking on more risk with business initiatives or investment opportunities. Spending time with a professional to seek a second opinion can help you assess whether the newest opportunity is the best one for you. 

To break free from the temptation to compare, audit your social media feeds.

If you find yourself thinking about how your life matches up to a friend’s when you’re not on social media, try to shift your perspective. Think about their human traits, vulnerabilities, and things that you have in common. When you change your mindset, you can move from a place of jealousy to a place of empathy. 

• Downward comparison (comparing ourselves to those less fortunate): It activates the brain’s “lack” network, emphasizing our insecurity and focuses on safeguarding the status quo at the expense of risk and adventure.
• Upward comparison (comparing ourselves to those we envy): it can excite feelings of envy and low self-esteem.

Both of these types of comparison can be bad for the brain

Those with narcissistic personalities are pretty good at turning on the charm. Watch how they treat people when they’re not “on stage.” If you catch them lying, manipulating, or blatantly disrespecting others, there’s no reason to believe they won’t do the same to you.

The first step in dealing with a narcissistic personality is simply accepting that this is who they are.

Whether it’s negative or positive attention, those with narcissistic personalities work hard to keep themselves in the spotlight.

You might soon find yourself buying into this tactic, pushing aside your own needs to keep them satisfied.

If you must deal with a narcissistic personality, don’t allow them to infiltrate your sense of self or define your world.

Gossiping is a fundamental human instinct because our lives are deeply rooted in groups and we depend on the people in our groups to survive.

We need to have as much information as possible about the people around us in order to accurately determine expectations, trustworthiness, viewpoints, and so on.

Gossip doesn’t only teach us about the person who’s the subject of the conversation, but also about the gossiper. When you gossip you tell others things about your attitudes, beliefs, and ways of dealing with people by seeing who and what you gossip about.

When you do join in, gossip can also strengthen your social bonds. It improves a group's cooperation and makes members less selfish, as well as a way of identifying and ostracizing untrustworthy individuals until they learn the lesson.

1. Recognize that your struggle is valid, no matter what you’re struggling with.

2. Realize the ways you’re already resilient.

3. Don’t wait for the situation to fix itself.

4. Know your strengths and use them.

5. Don’t try to do it alone…

6. …but know that it’s okay not to tell everyone.

7. Find your favorite way to take a mental break.

8. Be compassionate with yourself and realize all the ways adversity has made you strong. 

• Tell everyone what you plan to do and talk about your goals. Tell friends, employees, and employers your intentions and you won’t want to let them down. 
• Start documenting and sharing your journey. A blog or vlog where you share the projects you’re working on and your progress will encourage you to get things done. 

If you’re a chronic procrastinator and simply can’t resist the temptations of things like Facebook and Youtube, it might be time to cut out temptations.

There are tools such as Rescue Time, SelfControl and Focus that will temporarily block access to distracting websites like Facebook. Less aggressive tools such as Facebook Newsfeed Eradicator and Distraction Free Youtube will allow you to have access to Facebook and Youtube but block the distracting parts of these websites (such as the newsfeed).

• In a professional setting, the promotion-focused people are optimistic, speed-oriented, great brainstormers, plan for best-case scenarios and are also open to new opportunities. The people rely on positive feedback and can be dejected when things are not right. They like to think out-of-the-box and dive into work such as musicians, copywriters, inventors and consultants.
• Prevention-focused people are slow and steady, provide accuracy, and have tried and tested ways of doing things. The people are uncomfortable with short deadlines, praise, and feel worried or anxious when things aren’t going smoothly. Being risk-aversive, they do great in administrative work, bookkeeping, accounting, manufacturing and risk-management work. Any job requiring accuracy and attention to detail would fit these personality types.

It enhances and sustains the value of the individual. When managers' motivational strategies do not align with the dominant focus of one employee (prevention or promotion), then it is less likely the individual will achieve one’s goal.

• Other-praising: involves acknowledging and validating the character or abilities of the giver;
• Self-benefit: which describes how the receiver is better off for having been given help. 

The former makes people feel better with themselves and that you are more grateful when compared to the latter.

If you have to remind someone that they owe you one, chances are they don’t feel as if they do. Reminding them that they owe you a favor both makes the other person feel as if you’re trying to control them and it makes the other person feel as if you’re keeping a scorecard, and that’s fundamentally bad for relationships.