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Chronically Late People Aren't Trying to Annoy or Disrespect You. In Fact, It Has Nothing to Do with You
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Chronically Late People
While dealing with a chronically late friend or acquaintance, one tends to assume as though the person has disrespected us by not valuing our time. This may not be true.
People who are frequently late can also be optimists or creative individuals who have presence of mind and can think on their feet.
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The Three Behavioral Patterns of People That Are Late
Being habitually late has been pointed towards three main categories of behaviour:
- Being under the impression that they can multitask and function optimally under pressure.
- Being thrilled or fascinated by the constant stream of distractions and trying to participate in the next bright and shiny thing that comes in front of them.
- Being unaware of the actual time or not being able to calculate or experience time in the normal way.
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Handling The Chronically Late
- Become autonomous and act independently in your plans.
- Don’t depend on others for travel arrangements.
- Do not give others your ticket to a concert or movie.
- Take a book with you to get absorbed into while you wait, much better than fidgeting with your smartphone.
- Call them once a certain lateness threshold has been crossed.
- Make your feelings known but do not criticize them.
- Re-evaluate what is there to gain from the relation and what you lose if you let go of the same.
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The news can bring negativity: our impotence to do anything about most of what we hear can lead to a sense of hopelessness. It saps mental energy and focus.
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Toxic comparison
To break free from the temptation to compare, audit your social media feeds.
If you find yourself thinking about how your life matches up to a friend’s when you’re not on social media, try to shift your perspective. Think about their human traits, vulnerabilities, and things that you have in common. When you change your mindset, you can move from a place of jealousy to a place of empathy.
2 types of comparisons
- Downward comparison (comparing ourselves to those less fortunate): It activates the brain’s “lack” network, emphasizing our insecurity and focuses on safeguarding the status quo at the expense of risk and adventure.
- Upward comparison (comparing ourselves to those we envy): it can excite feelings of envy and low self-esteem.
Both of these types of comparison can be bad for the brain
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Inability to distinguish
We tend to assume that confident people have more potential for leadership.
However, there is little overlap between how good people think they are at something, and how good the...
Charismatic individuals
We seem to want leaders who are charming and entertaining, but a stand-up comedian is not the same as an effective leader.
The best leaders are humble rather than charismatic, to the point of being boring.
Narcissistic individuals
We've always admired famous people, but our admiration for people who admire themselves is on the rise. But true leaders keep their narcissism in check.
Popular advice focuses on loving yourself above all else. And this creates leaders who are unaware of their limitations. They see leadership as an entitlement.
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"Resilience is not a trait. It’s not something you’re born with. It’s not something you just have."
Meg Jay
Tips to become more resilient
- Recognize that your struggle is valid, no matter what you’re struggling with.
Realize the ways you’re already resilient.
Don’t wait for the situation to fix itself.
Know your strengths and use them.
Don’t try to do it alone…
…but know that it’s okay not to tell everyone.
Find your favorite way to take a mental break.
Be compassionate with yourself and realize all the ways adversity has made you strong.