Learn more about loveandrelationships with this collection
How to close the deal
How to handle objections
How to present your value to your employer
Why we jump to dark conclusions
Part of the reason for our pattern of imagining negative plots and thinking that all people want is to cause us harm is the psychological phenomenon called self-hatred.
The less we like ourselves, the more we appear in our own eyes as possible targets for disrespect and harm.
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MORE IDEAS ON THIS
How a negative self-image impacts our life
When we carry a baggage of self-hatred around with us (that operates outside of our awareness) we'll constantly seek confirmation from the outside world that we really are the worthless people we consider us to be.
This process starts in our childhood, when someone close to us lef...
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Our broken perception of the people around us
Motives are crucial, but sadly we are very bad at perceiving and interpreting the motives that happened to be involved in the events that most frustrate us.
We usually feel that other adults have something against us, that all the actions they are taking and that frustrate...
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Emile-Auguste Chartier's formula for calming down
He developed a formula for calming himself and his pupils down in the face of irritating people.
He said to never see people as evil; just try to identify what is driving a person to behave in negative ways. It is a calming thought to imagine that they’re suffering in a wa...
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Treating the adults around us as children
We would be much calmer around adults if we could act around them in the way we naturally act around children.
Small kids sometimes behave in really annoying ways, but we rarely feel personally wounded by their behavior, because we don't assign a negative intention to the ...
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The power to hold on
One of the most important techniques to calm down is having the power to hold on, even in demanding and hard situations, to a distinction between what someone does and what they meant to do.
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Other curated ideas on this topic:
Our idea of a motive
We're seldom very good at perceiving someone's motives when an incident drives us mad. We see intention where there was none and escalate a situation when the agitated response is not warranted.
The less we like ourselves, the more we may appear in our own eyes as plausibl...
Why we do the opposite of what we are supposed to do
We hate the feeling of being bossed around, even when doing as we’re told is good for us.
Psychological reactance is our knee-jerk negative reaction to being told what to do.
Based on research, almost everyone has this mental reflex against being told what to do, esp...
Why Do We See Ourselves As Morally Good?
It could be because it's beneficial for well-being and cooperation, but it could just be how we think about everything. We have a tendency to reflect on a thing's positive traits; this is called
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