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Control has no place in love nor friendship

Controlling behavior

Controlling behavior

Control is a way for us to build relationships; it usually begins without any malicious intent but eventually it becomes clear that it isn't a great foundation for a healthy relationship or connection.

Conventionally 3 things make control easier: money, talent, or physical attractiveness.

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Appreciation Rather Than Judgment

Instead of focusing on what you don't like and trying to change your partner with judgment, appreciate what is wonderful about him/her. This doesn't mean avoiding problems, as it is vit...

Don't Shy Away From Conflict

Much can be learned from how you each deal with conflict, and avoiding it keeps you from that knowledge. 

An inability to resolve conflict is a major reason why in-love feelings fade away.

Ask In-Depth Questions

Ask the important questions -- about values, money, children, religion/spirituality, past relationships.

If you are afraid to be forthright in your questions, then the fear itself is letting you know that your fear of rejection may be in charge -- which means you have more inner work to do.

Disappointed

We can ask ourselves five questions when faced with disappointment, that will help us to cope better with it:

  1. Why am I disappointed?
  2. What could I have done to prevent it?
The Reason Of Disappointment

Why am I disappointed?
It can be difficult to explain why you are disappointed, but asking the right question about the reason gets you towards the root of the problem. This is the first step in effectively fighting against it.

Regret

Could I have done anything to prevent it?
We can feel regret along with disappointment, but we have to realize that every circumstance is not in our control. In most cases, we don't control much, and even if we do, the pain can be a catalyst in our growth.

Turn Up Your Palms

Whenever you're doing something that does not require use of your hands, turn them so that they're palm-side up. You also can do it while standing or walking, leaving your arms down at your sides a...