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Control has no place in love nor friendship

https://www.draudreyt.com/post/control-has-no-place-in-love-nor-friendship

draudreyt.com

Control has no place in love nor friendship
If you find you are putting in all of the effort and all you are getting in return is someone's company...I urge to to ask yourself how much is their company really worth!?

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Controlling behavior

Controlling behavior

Control is a way for us to build relationships; it usually begins without any malicious intent but eventually it becomes clear that it isn't a great foundation for a healthy relationship or connection.

Conventionally 3 things make control easier: money, talent, or physical attractiveness.

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Healing from control

Whether you're the controller or the one being controlled, it is possible to move forward and make changes for the better.

  1. Be wary of their actions and yours. Think about everything you do and ask yourself "what if" you were the one receiving the action.
  2. Be considerate. Remember that the only behavior we are responsible for is our own and the choices we make based on that.
  3. Practice self-reflection. It is important to know what you have to offer and ask yourself what they can help fulfill.

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Ask In-Depth Questions

Ask the important questions -- about values, money, children, religion/spirituality, past relationships.

If you are afraid to be forthright in your questions, then the fear itself is letting you know that your fear of rejection may be in charge -- which means you have more inner work to do.

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Disappointed

We can ask ourselves five questions when faced with disappointment, that will help us to cope better with it:

  1. Why am I disappointed?
  2. What could I have done to prevent it?

The Reason Of Disappointment

Why am I disappointed?
It can be difficult to explain why you are disappointed, but asking the right question about the reason gets you towards the root of the problem. This is the first step in effectively fighting against it.

Regret

Could I have done anything to prevent it?
We can feel regret along with disappointment, but we have to realize that every circumstance is not in our control. In most cases, we don't control much, and even if we do, the pain can be a catalyst in our growth.

There are six basic emotions

There are six basic emotions

In the 1960s, researchers started to study facial expressions that matched six basic emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust.

Some researchers now say there are fe...

Emtion: The concept

  • In the 1950s, psychologists were focused on behaviourism while mostly ignoring emotions.
  • The word "emotion" did not exist in the English language until the early 17th century.
  • For centuries, the mental state to which "emotions" now refer were called either passions or affections.
  • In the early 19th century, Scottish philosopher Thomas Brown was the first to propose emotion as a theoretical category. However, he was unable to define it.

The natural-kind view of emotion

When asked to explain in words what emotion is, we may come up with ideas that feel right, such as "sensitivity to events," or "your mind's reaction to experience," but fundamentally, emotions are intangible and the definitions offered are not good enough for science.

Words like "joy" and "rage" describe a set of complex processes in the brain and the body that are not always related.