The Wedding Band - Deepstash

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Why is Modern Love So Damn Hard?

The Wedding Band

Marriage would ideally mean that our chosen one would offer us stability, safety, dependability and predictability. Apart from the laundry list of perfection, it is also an expectation to provide mystery, adventure, awe and wonder.

The wedding band comes with the weight of anticipations, of being ten different people and keeping the show going, juggling the various balls of expectations. If one ball falls, the marriage breaks down.

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The new relationships norms
The new relationships norms

There are new trends in the intimate relationship landscape. We want to maintain unclear relationships - too afraid to be alone, but unwilling to fully engage in intimacy building....

Relationships terms
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  • Simmering: Reducing the frequency of dates and communication. You know it isn't working, but you like the security of the relationship while you browse other options.
  • Power parting: You know it isn't working and end the relationship conclusively. "This isn't working for me. Thank you for sharing your world. I enjoyed our time together and wish you all my best."
Bringing back relationship accountability

Ghosting, icing, and simmering are manifesting the decline of empathy in our society. This encourages selfishness in one party without regard to the consequences of others.

Try to end relationships respectfully and conclusively, even when they were short in duration. Act with kindness and integrity. This allows both parties to enter another relationship with a clear head rather than with insecurity.

There is no such thing as the ideal partner
There is no such thing as the ideal partner

Thus, you should give up the hope that you can be flawless and put together every day in a relationship.

That idea is not realistic, puts you in a continuous state of feeling that ...

Supportive, long-term relationships

To foster a long-term, supportive, solid relationships, it's important to recognize your flaws while still holding yourself and your partner in high regard.

Start by freeing yourself from the outdated notions of how an exemplary partner should behave.

Being “chill/cool”

These are not signs of emotional maturity or intelligence, because there are some things that you should get upset about (an unfaithful or neglectful partner, for example).

Specific situations demand certain reactions, and this idea of people being “too much” or “crazy” is destructive because it causes you to act fake and pretend that your partner’s hurtful actions don’t bother you.

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