Positive and destructive perfectionism - Deepstash

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Positive and destructive perfectionism

Positive and destructive perfectionism

Constructive or healthy perfectionism is a personality trait that is associated with finding enjoyment and fulfilment from doing things well. The focus is process-oriented, where you learn from your mistakes.

A darker side of perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system where the person thinks a perfect life can prevent or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment and blame. This form of perfectionism involves trying to constantly meet perceived expectations of what 'perfect' is.

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MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE

Seeing the positive results from the efforts you are making in dealing with destructive perfectionism will give you hope.

Go through the ten traits associated with perfectionism-fuelled depression, and with support from friends or family, think about specific ways you can ...

  1. Adopting such a rigid commitment that if you fail, you'll quit.
  2. Beginning with a goal that's too hard or too big.
  3. Going at your goal alone without accepting help.
  4. Dealing with the fear and shame of giving up your persona.

  1. Your perfectionism is fueled by a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame or fear.
  2. You demonstrate an excessive sense of responsibility and look for solutions.
  3. You are unable to accept and express painful emotions.
  4. You dismiss or discount abuse or trauma.

You might be more aware of your own vulnerability and tendency to withdraw. However, if you don't connect with and process your emotional hurt, anger or sadness, they will govern your life.

In a supportive environment, create a timeline, then write 2, 4, 8, 12, 20, etc., on your timeli...

A possible explanation of why people develop unhealthy perfectionism is that they grow up without a sense of support, safety, and nurturing. Another reason can be a reaction to childhood trauma or extreme cultural expectations, where appearing perfect is a strate...

Becoming aware of your perfectionism can be very complicated because you've convinced yourself that your perfectionist traits are normal and not a problem. It is good to understand that not everyone is like this.

An exercise to develop more insight into the role that destructive pe...

If you believe you are an unhealthy perfectionist and that it could be masking your own deep-rooted emotional problems, the following stages can benefit you.

  • Consciousness: Becoming aware that your perfectionism is a problem.
  • Co...

Rules and beliefs interact. Your beliefs are something you accept to be true. Your rules govern your behaviour. Your rules can limit or expand your beliefs.

Confronting your personal beliefs is about identifying the rules you live by, then considering if they are still rules you wa...

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Depression is not a joke

Traits of a perfectly hidden depression syndrome

 • Your perfectionism is fueled by a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame or fear.

 • You demonstrate an excessive sense of responsibility and look for solutions.

 • You are unable to accept and express painful emotions...

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Vulnerability

It is basically uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.

You cannot outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite. The inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limit the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty, like ...

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Do a weekly review to reflect on your progress

Try to identify things you avoided due to fear of failure and situations where your perfectionism wasn’t worth it or moments where you did well despite being uncertain.

Your objective here is to learn where perfectionism has a positive impact and where it does not.

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