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How to get over ‘never good enough’ | Psyche Guides
Connecting with lost feelings
You might be more aware of your own vulnerability and tendency to withdraw. However, if you don't connect with and process your emotional hurt, anger or sadness, they will govern your life.
In a supportive environment, create a timeline, then write 2, 4, 8, 12, 20, etc., on your timeline. Fill in both the good and hurtful things that occurred to you. The goal is to acknowledge the good and the bad. Connecting with pain teaches that you can tolerate it and that your vulnerabilities don't define you.
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Vulnerability
You cannot outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite. The inability to lean into the discomfort of vuln...
Daring greatly
... is about showing up and being seen, about owning our vulnerability and understanding it as the birthplace of courage.
Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both.
- What’s keeping you out of the arena? Can you name the fear? Where do you want to be braver?
- Figure out how you’re currently protecting yourself from vulnerability: Perfectionism, Cynicism, Control etc.
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Perfectionism: The Pursuit Of Constant Excellence
There is a common trait among many high-achievers: Perfectionism. Celebrated geniuses like Leonardo Da Vinci, Beethoven, Steve Jobs and even Kanye West share an obsessive ...
Perfectionism: The Good
The good aspects of being perfect are intrinsic motivation, extreme focus, ambitious goals, strong work ethic and high personal standards. They are also highly coachable.
Elite performers are often perfectionists as their activity requires error-free performance.
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Resilience During A Global Crisis
- Resilience is the ability to handle and recover from stressful situations and crises. It is not simply coping up with adversity, but to experience growth and flowering, find...
Resilience: Psychological Facts
- Resilience comes automatically to most of us.
- It is part of a set of skills and behaviours and not a standalone concept.
- Resilience is not an individual trait or quality, but dependent on many contextual factors like one’s upbringing, social factors and health conditions.
- It is not a static concept but a flowing, dynamic process based on our life cycle and external conditions.
- Resilience does not make a person a superhuman being, and the journey of suffering, misery and pain has to be undertaken.
- Positivity is one-sided, and running away from negativity does not build resilience.
How To Be Resilient
- Don’t isolate yourself, but connect with others, and nurture your relationships. One can reach out to others, play and have fun by joining online or offline groups, or while going for a morning walk. One need not wait for a pandemic.
- Accept what is happening to you(and others) and allow it to exist, while taking affirmative action towards stuff that is in your control.
- Don’t avoid discomfort, but move towards it occasionally. It’s not always about comfort and convenience.
- Distance yourself from your thoughts by practicing gratitude journaling, or simply writing on paper what is on your mind.
- Find growth opportunities in adverse situations by reframing them as a new challenge, something known as Cognitive Reframing.