Validate your own emotions

Defensiveness sabotages your ability to be a good listener. People become defensive when they feel threatened in a relationship.

The best way to avoid defensiveness and continue to listen well, even when you're upset, is to practice validating your own emotions. Say to yourself that it is okay that you feel angry or hurt. But, you get to decide how to act moving forward.

256 SAVES

896 READS

EXPLORE MORE AROUND THESE TOPICS:

To Become A Better Writer, Become A Listener - Darius Foroux

.no-js-favicons?domain=dariusforoux { display: none !important; }

dariusforoux.com

If you become a listener, I guarantee you will become a better writer by simply becoming more aware of your surroundings.

Key Ideas

Becoming a better writer

.no-js-aHR0cHM6Ly9hbGxhYm91dHdyaXRpbmdjb25zdWx0aW5nLmNvbS93cC1jb250ZW50L3VwbG9hZHMvMjAxOC8wNC9wZW5jaWwtb24tam91cm5hbC5qcGc { display: none !important; }

You can become a better writer by simply becoming more aware of your surroundings.

Writing is mostly strategy. And a big part of writing strategy lies in listening.

Writing is not about what you write

It's about how you write. Every person has a different way of expressing themselves. We can all spot which writers are fake and which ones are real. But when we write, we forget about that. We fail to think of someone a bit sceptical.

When you write, you need to be convinced of what you write. Your biggest enemy is not the sceptic, but the reader who calls you out by simply discarding your writing.

How to write something that catches people's attention

Start becoming aware of things that actually matter by listening to your friends, family, spouse, readers, and yourself.

See yourself as a researcher who is studying your particular subject. The better you observe the details of daily life, the better you can explain them.

one more idea

.no-js-aHR0cHM6Ly9uaWNrd2lnbmFsbC5jb20vd3AtY29udGVudC91cGxvYWRzLzIwMjAvMDEvT3RoZXItUGVvcGxlcy1Bbmdlci1OaWNrLVdpZ25hbGwuanBn { display: none !important; }

How to Handle Other People's Anger Like a Pro

.no-js-favicons?domain=nickwignall { display: none !important; }

nickwignall.com

Dealing with other people's anger can be challenging, confusing, and sometimes terrifying-especially if it's someone we're close to like a spouse, parent, or co-worker. In this article, I'm going to teach you how to think about and handle other people's anger like a professional psychologist would.

Key Ideas

Anger and Aggression

Anger: An emotion felt when we believe we have been wronged.
Aggression: is an act of expression of the anger, by our words our actions. Aggressio...

Validation and Boundaries

We can try and validate the anger felt by an individual by making them know that their anger is maybe justified while putting firm but respectful boundaries on their aggression.
We then need to be clear about what type of aggression we are willing to tolerate, setting boundaries on the unacceptable.
We may have to put our foot down and be ready to leave the conversation or escalate the issue, without falling into the trap of guilt and emotion.
If possible, we need to restart the conversation when things have cooled down, and diffuse the issue in a calm way.

Avoiding Speculative Self-Talk

Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.

The way to get out of this speculative self-delusion is to avoid any speculation about other people's anger, at least initially.
Make sure to note down the facts of the situation. This can make the story less according to your gut instinct, and more towards the objective reality.

one more idea

.no-js-aHR0cHM6Ly9uaWNrd2lnbmFsbC5jb20vd3AtY29udGVudC91cGxvYWRzLzIwMjAvMDgvNy1TaWducy1Mb3ctRW1vdGlvbmFsLUludGVsbGlnZW5jZS1OaWNrLVdpZ25hbGwtMi5qcGc { display: none !important; }