Self Esteem Vs Self-Worth - Deepstash

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How to cultivate a sense of unconditional self-worth

Self Esteem Vs Self-Worth

Self Esteem Vs Self-Worth

Many of us have our growing up years filled with experiences that destroy our self-worth. Slowly we establish in our minds that we are not good enough.

Self-worth is different from self-esteem which can be bolstered by improving our skill sets, social positions, and our performance. Self-worth is a basic sense of being deserving to be loved and cared for and to be alive in this world.

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Controlling behavior
Controlling behavior

Control is a way for us to build relationships; it usually begins without any malicious intent but eventually it becomes clear that it isn't a great foundation for a he...

Healing from control

Whether you're the controller or the one being controlled, it is possible to move forward and make changes for the better.

  1. Be wary of their actions and yours. Think about everything you do and ask yourself "what if" you were the one receiving the action.
  2. Be considerate. Remember that the only behavior we are responsible for is our own and the choices we make based on that.
  3. Practice self-reflection. It is important to know what you have to offer and ask yourself what they can help fulfill.
Fear of abandonment
Fear of abandonment

Some people will pursue multiple relationships simultaneously because of a fear of abandonment.

They want to have a backup relationship in case something goes wrong, but in doing so, they ...

Signs of the fear of abandonment
  • You feel jealous often.
  • You go overboard in the relationship.
  • You have thoughts about their partner or spouse leaving you.
  • You demand an unrealistic portion of time with your significant other.
  • You have difficulty in trusting their partner or spouse and are controlling.
  • You always look out for the next relationship or significant other to replace the one most recently lost.
  • You feel unworthy, less than or unworthy of love.
  • You have lower self-esteem/ self-confidence.
  • You end relationships before the other person can.
  • You stay in unhealthy or abusive relationships because of the fear of being abandoned or alone.
  • You will pursue relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable.
The reason behind the fear of abandonment

Generally, people who have a fear of abandonment feel they are not worthy of being loved.

When a child is attached to someone, and the person leaves them, they are left feeling that they were not fully loved. Even though this is likely not the truth, the child will wonder what made them unlovable. As an adult, they may still feel there is something about them that makes them not worthy. They often believe they should control things so that the person doesn't leave them.

How to spot toxic self-esteem

Toxic self-esteem is easy to notice. One can see a disconnect between how the person sees himself, and how the world sees him.

It is your coworker who’s incompetent in their job but t...

Lasting high self-esteem

Self-esteem is how we think we are doing in our own worlds. It is made up of an internal valuation of ourselves. It cannot be an objective assessment, as we decide what our metrics are.

Prioritize your good self-esteem (for instance, how honest or compassionate you are) over the toxic ones (how nice your shoes are.)

Accept your low self-esteem

First, give yourself the headspace to work on a solution by accepting your feelings surrounding your low self-esteem. Your feelings are temporary. Accept them for the moment. Don't cover them up. Don't try to overcompensate for them.

Put your focus on the skills you need to acquire, not on how you feel.