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How to cultivate a sense of unconditional self-worth
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Self Esteem Vs Self-Worth
Many of us have our growing up years filled with experiences that destroy our self-worth. Slowly we establish in our minds that we are not good enough.
Self-worth is different from self-esteem which can be bolstered by improving our skill sets, social positions, and our performance. Self-worth is a basic sense of being deserving to be loved and cared for and to be alive in this world.
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Society Primes Us To Feel Unworthy
- Ads on TV tell us what we need to spend money on to become acceptable, successful or lovable.
- Our educational system measures us using standard grades and test-scores, destroying our individuality.
- Parents love our accomplishments and subtly want us to push ourselves towards greater success at the cost of our freedom of personal choice.
- Social media has highly effective metrics to measure our worthiness, like the number of followers or likes.
When we fail to do what society wants us to do, we lose approval and experience unworthiness.
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Imagine A Beautiful World
Begin to feel worthy by:
- Forgiving yourself for your past mistakes, acknowledging and accepting our flaws and deeds.
- Accept how you look, your laugh, your smile, your unique way of looking at the world. That’s what makes you special.
- Embrace your quirks and work towards enhancing your worldview.
- Do not criticise yourself when you experience emotional pain. Be kind to yourself.
- Connect with people who are supportive and healing.
- Have the courage to free yourself from society's rules and work towards being you.
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How to spot toxic self-esteem
Toxic self-esteem is easy to notice. One can see a disconnect between how the person sees himself, and how the world sees him.
It is your coworker who’s incompetent in their job but t...
Lasting high self-esteem
Self-esteem is how we think we are doing in our own worlds. It is made up of an internal valuation of ourselves. It cannot be an objective assessment, as we decide what our metrics are.
Prioritize your good self-esteem (for instance, how honest or compassionate you are) over the toxic ones (how nice your shoes are.)
Accept your low self-esteem
First, give yourself the headspace to work on a solution by accepting your feelings surrounding your low self-esteem. Your feelings are temporary. Accept them for the moment. Don't cover them up. Don't try to overcompensate for them.
Put your focus on the skills you need to acquire, not on how you feel.
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Meditation
Meditation significantly lowers depression, stress, and anxiety – the key reasons for a restless mind.
Elimination of these factors greatly helps in improving concentration, thus increa...
Playing Puzzles
Puzzle games and crosswords are both good mind stimulators and can improve your brain power, confidence, and self-esteem.
Their inherent attractiveness lies in the fact they are challenging. Solving puzzles makes your brain work continuously, thus making you push the limits of your intellect.
Artwork
A hobby that you can pursue in a relaxed and non-competitive environment opens up the creative windows of your mind.
Try something like embroidery instead of the usual paintings and water-color drawings.
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Failure And Self-criticism
Failing at something is common and there are different ways we react to it. Some of us are harsh on ourselves, while a few of us talk to ourselves with care and tenderness.
Self-criticism, ...
Self-Esteem Is A Flawed Mental Model
Self-esteem is a popular self-worth mental model, but it comes with an in-built competition of sorts and can become narcissism of the worst kind, crumbling down as soon as the person fails to achieve the goal.
Self Compassion: Forgive Yourself
We can take better care of our mental health and motivation levels by being self-compassionate.
Being kind to ourselves just like an old supportive friend would be in times of disappointment, failure or embarrassment.