Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.
When we are sick in our minds, we have this punishing sense of how terrible we are, even if we often can't point to a specific crime. We are appalled by, and unforgiving of, who we are.
In this situation, a loving companion can make all the difference. They don't try to persuade us of our worth. They make pleasant conversation about something that won't make us anxious. They can tolerate how ill we are and will stick by us. They love us for who we are rather than what we do.
MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE
Patronising pity can make the attention of others oppressive.
Loving companions do not judge us as beneath them. They don't oppress us by clinging to their belief in their own solidity and competence. Our companions indicate that they too might one day be in our place and ...
Love is critical to help us keep faith with life and rescue us from severe mental illness.
In fact, anyone who has ever suffered from mental illness and recovers will do so because of love, whether from a friend, a partner, a child, or a parent.
Many mental traumas are the result of abandonment, and the neglect has thrown us off balance ever since. We may find it hard to depend on others.
A loving companion is ready to fight to earn our trust. We may try to incite despair and frustration and say some awful things to a carer we lov...
A loving companion looking after a mentally sick friend doesn't care very much about what other people may think. They don't care if they are in a minority when loving us.
We are not loved for anything we have done, but simply because we exist.
The mentally ill person is continually worried about ongoing and limitless torment. What if someone wants to take them away? What if the voices in their head never go away?
The loving companion does their best to quieten the panic. They present the future as unkno...
When mentally ill, we may want to return again and again to the subject that should normally have been dealt with.
However, the loving response is to take the worry as seriously as possible and address it head-on without scoffing or denying the scale of the concern.
MORE LIKE THIS
A mind in a healthy state is continuously performing a set of manoeuvres that uphold our moods.
A healthy mind is an editing mind that filters through particular ideas and sensations that actively need to be entertained so that we can direct our lives effectively.
If there is any advantage to going through a mental crisis of the worst kind, it is that – on the other side of it – we will have ended up choosing life rather than merely assuming it to be the unremarkable norm. We, the ones who have crawled back from the darkness, may be disadvantaged in a hund...
We look for people to love that recreate the feelings of love we knew from childhood. But the love we absorbed in childhood was intermingled with painful aspects: a feeling of not measuring up; a love for a fragile parent.
This predisposes us to pick partners with whom we ...
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