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The Role of Love in Mental Health
Love and patience
When mentally ill, we may want to return again and again to the subject that should normally have been dealt with.
However, the loving response is to take the worry as seriously as possible and address it head-on without scoffing or denying the scale of the concern.
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5
Key Ideas
The healthy mind filters through thoughts
A mind in a healthy state is continuously performing a set of manoeuvres that uphold our moods.
A healthy mind is an editing mind that filters through particular ideas and ...
A healthy mind resists temptations
A healthy mind resists unfair comparisons. It does not allow the successes of others to make us feel inadequate; neither does it frequently find fault with its own nature.
A healthy mind keeps at bay critical judgements. It does not tell us how appalling we are; instead, it allows us to talk to ourselves as we would to a friend.
A healthy mind keeps a good grip on fear
A healthy mind knows that there are endless problems we could worry about. It can distinguish between what could conceivably happen and what is likely to happen.
It avoids catastrophic imaginings. It is confident that terrible things will either not happen, or it could be dealt with ably enough.
2
Key Ideas
Talking horizontally and encouraging honesty
Sigmund Freud discovered that there is a remarkable difference between what people will tell you when they are sitting up and looking at you in the eye, and what they will say to you when they ...
When we feel discouraged to speak
We perhaps don't realise that seeing another person's face can discourage us from speaking the truth. We may hold back and edit our presentation in the light of their reactions.
With Sigmund Freud's example in mind, we should find our own forms of horizontal conversation. After dinner, we might suggest that we all go and lie down somewhere and become newly conscious of voices and nuances when we don't have to look at others' expressions.
4
Key Ideas
Imagination: the power to find alternatives
Some of our most despondent moods are caused by failures of the imagination. Imagination here is the power to envision alternatives. When we're sad, we can't imagine fi...
We are people with choices
As grown-ups, we have choices. We are not small children where we have to depend on our parents for everything.
We could work as a bus conductor or retrain as a psychotherapist. We could volunteer in an emergency shelter. We can throw ourselves into learning a new language or take a university degree. We can look up old and trusted friends or make new friends.
Imagination: a chance of fulfillment
To increase our chances of fulfillment, we need to feed our imagination and provide them with endless examples of alternative narratives, so they are more able to come up with plan Bs. We should practice to picture better ways to be.
As part of creative classes, adolescents should be asked to produce narratives like: If I lost everything and had to start up again, I will... They should be asked to make a list of 20 things that currently make life meaningful, then have to cross them all off and find ten more.