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“Should” statements

“Should” statements

“Should,” “ought to” or “must are words of constraint and constriction; they can lead to your feeling like you have few options and too-high expectations. Expanding your sense of choice starts with changing the language you use in your self-talk.

155

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All-or-nothing thinking

All-or-nothing thinking

Seing people and situations in either/or categories, without allowing for complexity(e.g.: the best/the worst). In reality, our lives unfold in shades of gray.

Finding one alternative path between the 2 extremes can help break the pattern, and conceiving of a few more develops your skil...

158

475 reads

Disqualifying the positive

Disqualifying the positive

When you reject positive statements or occurrences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or another. For example, your boss praises you in front of your colleagues. When someone mentions it to you later, you say, “She said that because I was standing in front and she couldn’t avoid me...

161

329 reads

Personalization or excessive responsibility

Personalization or excessive responsibility

You see yourself as the cause of a negative event for which you probably weren’t responsible (or you weren’t the only one responsible). Self-blame for others’ misfortunes or for everyday mishaps, or relating external events to oneself when there’s no basis for it, can negatively impact your dai...

151

313 reads

Overgeneralizing

Overgeneralizing

When you draw general rules from specific events, and apply them across unrelated situations. Your rules are usually negative rather than positive.

For example, when you don’t get a job you want, you think, “People don’t like me, I’m going to die alone.”

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morganee

If you don't measure it, you can't improve it. Working on my own personal gols and objectives.

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