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Why Imagination—Not Resilience—Might Help You Heal From Heartbreak - Mindful
The Alternative To Resilience
An alternative to resilience is a mysterious, unknown potential towards a future that yet unseen, but can be imagined.
Hardships can be dealt with imagination, curiosity, openness and adaptability towards the expansive potential of a new future.
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Key Ideas
The journey through suffering
The five stages of grief are described as anger, bargaining, denial, depression, and acceptance. Yet, when a tragedy strike, we already know how bad things are. What is most needed is hope.
Suffering as part of life
We live in an age where many feel that they are entitled to a perfect life. But at some stage, everyone will face a tragedy.
When tough times do come, resilient people seem to recognize that suffering is part of every human life. Understanding this stops you from feeling discriminated against when trouble comes.
Directing your attention
Resilient people typically manage to focus on the things they can change and accept the things they can't.
Don't get swallowed up by your troubles. Don't lose what you still have to what you have lost.
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Resilience
It's the skill that enables us to recover quickly from difficulties. It means adapting well in the face of trauma, tragedy or significant stress.
We build our resilience by learni...
Build a circle of trust
The primary factor in resilience is having supportive relationships, inside and outside the family.
Close friends, family and loved ones represent our social support; they encourage and motivate us, and let us know that we aren’t alone.
Reframe stressful situations
The way we view a potentially stressful situation can either make the crisis worse in our mind or minimize it.
Reframing things in a more positive way can alter our perceptions and relieve our stressful feelings.
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The silver lining of tragedies
In our culture, there's this idea that going through a disaster can be good for you and make you stronger.
After experiencing loss or trauma, people usually report feeling a greater apprec...
Post-traumatic growth
The narrative of growth from adversity might sound convincing, but it's difficult to collect reliable data on people before and after they've experienced trauma.
Studies found that people are not very good at accurately remembering what they were like before a traumatic event. When they think they have experienced growth, it might just be a coping mechanism. Those who reported personal growth after a tragedy were more likely to continue to experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress.
People can grow from adversity
It can be problematic to embrace the idea that personal growth and resilience are typical outcomes of adversity.
Not everyone is stronger after a traumatic event. However, the support of family, friends, and communities in the wake of a traumatic event, plays a significant role in growing from it.