The alternative to a passion-driven mindset - Deepstash

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What Are You Working Towards? Because You Better Know

The alternative to a passion-driven mindset

The passion-driven mindset can be contrasted with an alternative: a poise-like discipline and a sense of purpose.

The key is to know what you're actually working towards. Ask yourself what your strategy is.

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Couples living apart
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In 2000, a government survey showed that about 2.7 million married Americans lived apart from their spouse. The number rose to about 3.9 million in 2017.

Long-distance relationship...

The evolution of romantic communication
  • Before video-chat and long-distance phone calls, written correspondence was used to exchange meaningful information. The goal was to write about the most important things that had happened since the last letter.
  • Although the telephone was invented in the mid-19th century, it was only used for long-distance relationships in the 1970s, when the cost of phoning for pleasure instead of just business became affordable.
  • The next major development in romantic communication was the internet. Email, instant messaging, and video-chatting were affordable for couples to share even the smallest details.
  • Many couples today do "background Skype" where everyday living comes to the surface and add to a level of intimacy.
The pressure to live apart

In the past, couples were more likely to accommodate only one partner's job - mostly the man's. But today, couples have dual-incomes, are well educated, professionally minded, and pursuing careers in separate places. It is contributing to the rise in long-distance relationships.

The pressure to live apart for work is worse for younger couples who are still establishing careers.

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To seek the solution to the dilemma of intellectual dependency, we need to find a person having the basic virtue of intellectual benevolence, the added trust and care of the person who is approached by us.

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The limits of habits

Habit-building is a powerful tool for self-improvement. But the power of the tool can also create some overreach. In one way, habits will fail to form.

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Many habits are simply routines, but not all of them. For example, there isn't a habit for a hard workout at the gym - you won't become absent-minded midway through a benchpress.

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