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What Are You Working Towards? Because You Better Know
The alternative to a passion-driven mindset
The passion-driven mindset can be contrasted with an alternative: a poise-like discipline and a sense of purpose.
The key is to know what you're actually working towards. Ask yourself what your strategy is.
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Key Ideas
Couples living apart
In 2000, a government survey showed that about 2.7 million married Americans lived apart from their spouse. The number rose to about 3.9 million in 2017.
Long-distance relationship...
The evolution of romantic communication
- Before video-chat and long-distance phone calls, written correspondence was used to exchange meaningful information. The goal was to write about the most important things that had happened since the last letter.
- Although the telephone was invented in the mid-19th century, it was only used for long-distance relationships in the 1970s, when the cost of phoning for pleasure instead of just business became affordable.
- The next major development in romantic communication was the internet. Email, instant messaging, and video-chatting were affordable for couples to share even the smallest details.
- Many couples today do "background Skype" where everyday living comes to the surface and add to a level of intimacy.
The pressure to live apart
In the past, couples were more likely to accommodate only one partner's job - mostly the man's. But today, couples have dual-incomes, are well educated, professionally minded, and pursuing careers in separate places. It is contributing to the rise in long-distance relationships.
The pressure to live apart for work is worse for younger couples who are still establishing careers.
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Key Ideas
We All Are Work In Progress
There are always certain gaps in our understanding and with it comes the need of help of others to fill in the vacuum. It might be the blind spots we derive from our upbringing or our social circle...
The Five Signs Of Intellectual Dependability
Most mentors or guides show the following signs to help you gauge if they are intellectually dependable:
- Intellectual benevolence.
- Intellectual transparency.
- Communicative clarity.
- Audience sensitivity
- Intellectual guidance.
Finding Trustworthy People For Guidance
To seek the solution to the dilemma of intellectual dependency, we need to find a person having the basic virtue of intellectual benevolence, the added trust and care of the person who is approached by us.
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Key Ideas
The limits of habits
Habit-building is a powerful tool for self-improvement. But the power of the tool can also create some overreach. In one way, habits will fail to form.
In other circumstances, habits are no...
Not all behaviors can be easily automated
Many habits are simply routines, but not all of them. For example, there isn't a habit for a hard workout at the gym - you won't become absent-minded midway through a benchpress.
- Habits are behaviors that flow automatically from a set of prompts.
- Routines are behaviors we repeatedly do but involve many deliberate actions done with some effort and thinking.
Habits aren’t commitments
- A commitment is a rule you've added for yourself. "I must exercise five times per week." But if you break that commitment, it can result in a backsliding effect.
- A habit is that behavior that happens automatically from a triggering situation.