One of the fundamental keys to successful human relations is understanding that other people may be totally wrong, but they don’t think they are.
Put yourself in their place. Success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint.

Don't Condemn, Try To Understand

We are interested in others when they are interested in us.
If you want to make friends, put yourself out to do things for other people – things that require time, energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness.

Learn To Be Genuinely Interested In People

We aren’t able to make real changes by criticizing people, and we’re instead often met with resentment. It’s important to remember that when dealing with people, we’re dealing not with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, who are motivated by pride and ego.
Criticism is futile and dangerous. It puts a person in a defensive mode. People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior

Criticizing Others Doesn’t Yield Anything Positive

People want the approval of those with whom they come in contact. They want recognition of their true worth. They want a feeling that they are essential to the world.
But they don’t want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery - they crave sincere appreciation.

Make People Feel Important

"The royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most."

"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

<ul>
<li>Begin with praise and honest appreciation.</li>
<li>Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.</li>
<li>Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.</li>
<li>Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.</li>
<li>Let the other person save face.</li>
<li>Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.</li>
<li>Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.</li>
<li>Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.</li>
<li>Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.</li>
</ul>

How to Change People Without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
If we lose the argument, we lose; if we win the argument, we have made the other person feel inferior, hurt his pride, and made him resent us. In other words, we still lose.

It’s Impossible To Win An Argument

Principles to follow:
<ul>
<li>Become genuinely interested in other people.</li>
<li>Smile.</li>
<li>Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.</li>
<li>Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.</li>
<li>Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.</li>
<li>Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.</li>
</ul>

Make People Like You

You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
Actions speak louder than words, and a genuine smile says, “I like you, You make me happy". But an insincere grin doesn’t fool anybody. We know it is mechanical and we resent it.

The Power Of Smiling

The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
To convince someone to do something, we have to frame it in terms of what motivates them. And in order to do that, we have to be able to see things from their point of view as well as our own.

Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want

To be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener.
Most people would prefer a good listener to a good talker.

Encourage Others To Talk About Themselves

<ul>
<li>The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.</li>
<li>Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Neversay, “You’re wrong.”</li>
<li>If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.</li>
<li>Begin in a friendly way.</li>
<li>Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.</li>
<li>Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.</li>
<li>Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.</li>
<li>Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.</li>
<li>Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.</li>
<li>Appeal to the nobler motives.</li>
<li>Dramatize your ideas.</li>
<li>Throw down a challenge.</li>
</ul>

Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

When talking with people, we should never begin with the points on which we disagree. We should start by emphasizing the things on which we agree, and be sure to convey that we’re both striving for the same result - our differences are in method, but not purpose.
The key is to keep our opponent from saying “no,” as this is a very difficult sentiment to overcome.

Emphasize The Points Of Agreeement

<ul>
<li>Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.</li>
<li>Give honest and sincere appreciation.</li>
<li>Arouse in the other person an eager want.</li>
</ul>

Essential Techniques For Handling People

Calling someone by their name is like paying them a very subtle compliment. Conversely, forgetting or misspelling someone's name can have the opposite effect and make it feel as though we are distant and disinterested in them.
From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as you deal with others.

Remember People's Names

Good conversation starters for any social situation

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

teamwork

Teamwork

career

Career

communication

Communication

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

Conversation Starters

You can go after the job you want—and get it! You can take the job you have—and improve it! You can take any situation—and make it work for you! Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking and timeless bestsellers of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People will teach you: -Six ways to make people like you -Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking -Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment And much more! Achieve your maximum potential—a must-read for the twenty-first century with more than 15 million copies sold!

books

Books

Updated for today’s readers, Dale Carnegie’s timeless bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People is a classic that has improved and transformed the professional and personal and lives of millions. One of the best-known motivational guides in history, Dale Carnegie’s groundbreaking book has sold tens of millions of copies, been translated into almost every known language, and has helped countless people succeed. Originally published during the depths of the Great Depression—and equally valuable during booming economies or hard times—Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their professional and personal lives. How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches you: -How to communicate effectively -How to make people like you -How to increase your ability to get things done -How to get others to see your side -How to become a more effective leader -How to successfully navigate almost any social situation -And so much more! Achieve your maximum potential with this updated version of a classic—a must-read for the 21st century.

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer, and the developer of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills.

THEODORE ROOSEVELT

Similar ideas

TIM FERRISS

TIM FERRISS

TIM FERRISS