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Keep advice brief and to the point
Many chronic complainers are not looking for advice even though they want to share their problems.
If they ask for advice, it's best to keep it short and on point. They may reject your help after they ask for it, saying it is useless or irrelevant. As annoying as it can be, recognize that they want to complain. Ask them how they intend to fix their problem?
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498 reads
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If you want to disagree, do it right
If it is essential that if you have to disagree with a chronic complainer, you can ask this simple question: "Do you want my opinion?"
The complainer then has to give you permission to share a different perspective, but don't try to convince them. Say "I hear what you'...
156
490 reads
Tips for dealing with complainers long-term
You can't change somebody's behaviour, but you can control how you handle them over time.
- Don't ever tell them that things "aren't so bad" as this gives the message that you're not taking their pain seriously.
- Don't ever complain about the complainer...
156
520 reads
The negative person vs the chronic complainer
An optimist sees a glass half full of water. A negative person sees the glass as half empty. The chronic complainer sees water that isn't cold enough, sees the smudge on the rim, which means the glass wasn't cleaned properly and...
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711 reads
We all know at least one chronic complainer
Chronic complainers genuinely believe the world is out to get them and feel they have to voice every disappointment in their life.
In reality, many chronic complainers are unaware that they complain so much or that they have a reputation for constant negat...
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1.12K reads
Dealing with a chronic complainer: Validate, sympathize, deflect, redirect
- Validate: Now that you've shown them you're listening, you can deploy the ultimate weapons for shutting chronic complainers down.
- Next, it's time to sympathize. Try to make it as authentic as possible. Avoid all sarcasm as they will notice it, and...
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590 reads
Dealing with a chronic complainer: Listen and nod
Validation is the key to shutting down a complainer initially.
Do not roll your eyes or check your email. Rather say things like "I hear you." Complainers can wear themselves out in five minutes unless you ignorantly add fuel to the fire by suggesting a solution. Then the...
160
739 reads
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When someone is giving you unsolicited advice
- If you want to share something with a friend or colleague who likes to offer their opinion, say: "I want to share what's going on and would appreciate it if you can listen without offering advice or criticism."
- Another way to stop auto-advice: "At ...
Tips for dealing with complainers long-term
You can't change somebody's behaviour, but you can control how you handle them over time.
- Don't ever tell them that things "aren't so bad" as this gives the message that you're not taking their pain seriously.
- Don't ever complain about the complainer...
Getting the best advice
- Ask a person who has the right expertise, experience, or knowledge you want. To improve your chance of getting what you want from an expert, use a known connection.
- Find out if you have a mutual friend in common. Ask them if they would be willing to reach out on your behalf for an ...
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