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Tips for dealing with complainers long-term

You can't change somebody's behaviour, but you can control how you handle them over time.

  • Don't ever tell them that things "aren't so bad" as this gives the message that you're not taking their pain seriously.
  • Don't ever complain about the complainers (or with them). If they find out that you complain about them, you'll have a chronic complainer that also dislikes you - indeed not a good combination. If you join in and complain along with them, it increases the likeliness that their problem will never be solved.
  • If it gets too much, draw the line. Tell the person that you like them, care for them and want to support them, but that you will no longer listen to how bad things are. Be sure to reward a change of behaviour by thanking and appreciating them.

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MORE IDEAS ON THIS

We all know at least one chronic complainer

We all know at least one chronic complainer

Chronic complainers genuinely believe the world is out to get them and feel they have to voice every disappointment in their life.

In reality, many chronic complainers are unaware that they complain so much or that they have a reputation for constant negat...

159

1.16K reads

Dealing with a chronic complainer: Listen and nod

Validation is the key to shutting down a complainer initially.

Do not roll your eyes or check your email. Rather say things like "I hear you." Complainers can wear themselves out in five minutes unless you ignorantly add fuel to the fire by suggesting a solution. Then the...

165

786 reads

If you want to disagree, do it right

If it is essential that if you have to disagree with a chronic complainer, you can ask this simple question: "Do you want my opinion?"

The complainer then has to give you permission to share a different perspective, but don't try to convince them. Say "I hear what you'...

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523 reads

Dealing with a chronic complainer: Validate, sympathize, deflect, redirect

  • Validate: Now that you've shown them you're listening, you can deploy the ultimate weapons for shutting chronic complainers down.
  • Next, it's time to sympathize. Try to make it as authentic as possible. Avoid all sarcasm as they will notice it, and...

171

630 reads

Keep advice brief and to the point

Many chronic complainers are not looking for advice even though they want to share their problems.

If they ask for advice, it's best to keep it short and on point. They may reject your help after they ask for it, saying it is useless or irrelevant. As annoying as it can be...

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534 reads

The negative person vs the chronic complainer

An optimist sees a glass half full of water. A negative person sees the glass as half empty. The chronic complainer sees water that isn't cold enough, sees the smudge on the rim, which means the glass wasn't cleaned properly and...

148

757 reads

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Dealing with a chronic complainer: Validate, sympathize, deflect, redirect

  • Validate: Now that you've shown them you're listening, you can deploy the ultimate weapons for shutting chronic complainers down.
  • Next, it's time to sympathize. Try to make it as authentic as possible. Avoid all sarcasm as they will notice it, and...

Dealing With Contrarians

Some effiecient ways to talk to a contrarian without losing your cool:

  • In the moment, tell the person how it makes you feel when they try to override your opinion or feelings on an issue;
  • If you’ve already stated how the behavior makes you feel and your contrarian has acknow...

Techniques for dealing with others

Techniques for dealing with others

  1. Do not criticize, do not condemn or complain: God does not intend to judge man until the end of his days. Why, then, should you or I judge him?
  2. Show honest and sincere appreciation: The difference between appreciation and flattery is very si...

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