Mental resilience

Resilience isn’t something you’re born with, but something you build. 

Psychologists say it’s comprised of behaviors, thoughts and actions that anyone can learn — a skill that can be improved, just like running or speaking a new language.

• Relying on others. Resilience has a lot to do with leaning on the people around you and with developing strong, supportive connections.
  
• Trust your own abilities. Keep a list of accomplishments you’re proud of to serve as a reminder of the times you’ve been resilient before.
• Be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to set physical, mental and emotional boundaries.
• Change your outlook. While you can’t always control the situation, you do have control over how you respond to it. Cultivate optimism in the face of adversity.
• Take the next step, even if it’s small. Build hope. Make a list that includes a goal, steps to achieve it, potential obstacles and strategies to overcome them.

1. Resilience comes automatically to most of us.
2. It is part of a set of skills and behaviours and not a standalone concept.
3. Resilience is not an individual trait or quality, but dependent on many contextual factors like one’s upbringing, social factors and health conditions.
4. It is not a static concept but a flowing, dynamic process based on our life cycle and external conditions.
5. Resilience does not make a person a superhuman being, and the journey of suffering, misery and pain has to be undertaken.
6. Positivity is one-sided, and running away from negativity does not build resilience.

1. Don’t isolate yourself, but connect with others, and nurture your relationships. One can reach out to others, play and have fun by joining online or offline groups, or while going for a morning walk. One need not wait for a pandemic.
2. Accept what is happening to you(and others) and allow it to exist, while taking affirmative action towards stuff that is in your control.
3. Don’t avoid discomfort, but move towards it occasionally. It’s not always about comfort and convenience.
4. Distance yourself from your thoughts by practicing gratitude journaling, or simply writing on paper what is on your mind.
5. Find growth opportunities in adverse situations by reframing them as a new challenge, something known as Cognitive Reframing.

Reflective journaling as a daily practice helps us improve our emotional stamina.

Writing down our experiences leads to new insights and a deeper understanding of our behaviour and actions. Writing down your failures and successes also helps us self-analyze our life in an objective, detached way. One can choose a pen and paper or digital format to write and make it a point to write when one experiences highs and lows in life.

We have to take care not to damage our self-esteem and our sense of self-worth by being judgemental about ourselves.

Embracing one’s imperfect moments with kindness and grace, makes us see the positive aspects of the situation and helps us learn from our mistakes. Meditation and certain thought exercises that steer our mind towards positivity, help us in being compassionate towards ourselves.