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How You Can Learn The #1 Persuasion Technique of FBI Hostage Negotiators - Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Active Listening
Is to not judge or analyze what the person is saying at first. Just focusing on listening and trying to understand their perspective.
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Conversational Narcissism
Is to seek to hold the attention of a conversation on oneself. It occasionally manifests on the average person when we pretend to be listening, but we were really focusing on what we want to say.
The Three Components of Active Listening
- Paraphrase: Consists of repeating at the speakers a summary of what they say, so they feel understood.
- Inquire: Obtain all the information that is relevant to the resolution of the issue.
- Acknowledge: Once the issue is made clear, communicate to your counterpart that you understand it.
Active Listening On The FBI’s Hostage Negotiation Techniques
The FBI uses a process composed of five sequential stages:
To establish rapport (Stage 3) with the subject, active listening skills (Stage 1) and empathy (Stage 2) must first be demonstrated and maintained throughout by the negotiator. As this process continues, influence (Stage 4) and the successful resolution of the crisis through behavioral change (Stage 5) follow.
The FBI’s Use Of Active Listening Techniques
- Minimal Encouragements: Through body language, or brief verbal replies, negotiators demonstrate that they are focused and listening attentively to the subject, this encourages the subject to keep talking and gradually relinquish more control over the situation.
- Paraphrasing: negotiators repeat in their own words the meaning of subjects’ messages back to them. This shows the negotiators are listening and understanding what the subject is conveying.
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How to deal with a hothead
First off, you can't get angry too because then there are two angry people.
Tell yourself they are having a bad day. Don't try to shut them up or talk over them. It doesn't ...
Active listening
Active listening has three components:
Paraphrase: Repeat what they have said in your own words. "If I understand correctly... "
Inquire: "You mentioned you found our proposed price unacceptable. Help me understand how you came to this conclusion?"
Acknowledge: "It sounds as if you're quite disappointed with..."
Active listening should be maintained throughout the conversation.
Communication is more than just words
It also includes body language:
- 55 percent of what you convey comes from your body language.
- 38 percent comes from your tone of voice.
- Only 7 percent is from the words you choose.
You don't want to argue over the phone or email as they are stripped of facial expressions and gestures and unwittingly simulating a blank emotional radar.
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“In crisis situations, emotions can dictate a person’s actions at the detriment of rational thinking.”
Jeff Thompson
The Goal In Law Enforcement Hostage Crisis Situations
To use communication skills to get a person to change from a negative behavior to a more desirable one.
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5 Steps for Effective Crisis Negotiation
- Prepare for crisis: Good crisis-management plans predict and set mechanisms to deal with and minimize the effects of disputes.
- Establish ground...
Characteristics of Crisis Negotiation
- High stakes, including communication towards conflict resolution.
- Unpredictable.
- Heightened negative emotions, often leading to conflict escalation.
- Multiple parties and teams are involved.