To influence someone it's necessary to show an understanding of their current emotions and behaviors; to have empathy. This can be done by attentively listening. Building rapport involves giving the person your attention, being positive and ensuring verbal and nonverbal communication are congruent.

Core Skills 2 & 3: Empathy and Rapport

People in crisis often feel they lack control. By letting them talk and being a part of the negotiation process you give them a sense of control, helping them de-escalate and bringing yourself closer to your goal; voluntary compliance.<h2>You also have to keep control of yourself, especially your emotions, as negative displays of emotion by you can escalate the situation. </h2>

Control In Crisis Negotiations

“In crisis situations, emotions can dictate a person’s actions at the detriment of rational thinking.”

By strategically using open-ended questions, emotional labeling, mirroring/reflecting, silence, and paraphrasing, active listening allows the negotiator to gather information on the other person and simultaneously demonstrate empathy and rapport, thus reducing their negative emotions.

Core Skill 1: Active Listening

"We all need to be good listeners and learn to demonstrate our empathy and understanding of the problems, needs, and issues of others. Only then can we hope to influence their behavior in a positive way.”

In crisis situations a person’s actions is heavily based on emotions, at the expense of rationality. A negotiator seeks to reduce the negative emotions and bring back a more rational thinking process through the use of active listening, timing, empathy, rapport building, influence and control.

A Negotiator's Goals During Crisis Management

To use communication skills to get a person to change from a negative behavior to a more desirable one.

The Goal In Law Enforcement Hostage Crisis Situations

After using the other crisis negotiations skills you can pursue the final goal, to nudge someone else’s frame of mind towards a positive outcome.

Influence In Crisis Negotiations

The goal in law enforcement crisis situations where crisis and hostage negotiators are being utilized entails influencing a behavioral change in someone in order to gain voluntary compliance. Although initially this statement might sound jargon-filled, it simply means using a set of skills to get a person to stop acting the way he or she currently is and getting that person then to act the way you want them to.

GARY NOESNER

Similar ideas

Understand the Needs of Others

4. Audience sensitivity - appreciate unique perspective

How To Improve Your Coping Skills