How to control the out of control (OOC)

And the trick to getting by in this world is recognizing what we can—and can’t—control, and dealing with it accordingly. And you know the best way to deal with OOC? It’s the same as nearly everything: Make a list (and check it twice, if you want). Creating an OOC list breaking down things you can and can’t control during your day can help you refocus your energy and maybe even relieve some angst.

Maybe your cubicle mate has an hourlong conferene call every morning, right when your brain is fired up to work. You can’t control what she does, so rather than being bothered every single morning , admit that you can’t do anything about it and her routine likely won’t change. What you can do: bring in your headphones and use that time to blast your favorite soundtrack . Or co-opt an empty conference room and do your own deep work.

Nothing’s worse than being sick or injured—these feelings can make you completely out of sorts and make you feel, well, helpless. If you have a headache or migraine or bad flu or lingering cold, for the most part, you’re in OOC land. So don’t beat yourself up—you didn’t make yourself get here, and focus on the parts of being sick you can control: resting, getting the right food and drink, and resting s’more. Every little positive choice you make gives you a little bit more power.

The big one! Once you firmly square away that you cannot control other people and, especially, their emotions towards you or your actions, you’re well on your way to a better place.