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The 4 components of effective communication:
- Observing what is happening in a situation (such as someone saying or doing something you don't like).
- Stating how you feel when you observe the action.
- Expressing how your needs are connected to the feelings you identified.
- Addressing what you want by requesting a concrete action.
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Observing without evaluating
Good communicators are able to separate their observations of a situation from their evaluations or judgments of it.
For example, "Janice works too much" contains an evaluation: working too much is subjective, and if Janice heard that, she may take it as criticism and become ...
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Strengthening our vocabulary for feelings
When you're expressing your feelings, it's better to use words that refer to specific emotions rather than words that are vague and general.
Don't say you feel "good" when words like happy, excited, relieved, or anything else could describe how you feel more precisely.
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6 Components of ACT
- Stop what you're doing and make contact with the present moment. Notice five things you see, four things you hear, and three things you feel.
- Employ diffusion techniques to detach from unhelpful thoughts. Instead of getting caught up in your thoughts or struggling to ge...
The emotional component of stickiness
The goal of making a message emotional is to make people care. Feelings inspire people to take action.
- The easiest way to make people care is to form creative associations between something they already care about and something they don't care about (y...
Think of others to learn how to act
We observe people instinctively and notice subtleties such as what they are doing, where they are looking, and what their body language is indicating. This helps us determine if we feel comfortable around them which helps us decide if we want to interact with them and how.
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