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How To Make Friends As An Adult

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How To Make Friends As An Adult

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Get vulnerable

Get vulnerable

To deepen a friendship, it pays to get vulnerable. To make true friends, you have to share things about yourself. Ask people questions too so that they share about themselves.

Tell people what your passions are, how you spend your free time, what you're looking forward to, and ask them for the same. Studies found that the more people share about themselves, the more they end up liking each other.

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Friendships are a treasure

Friendships are a treasure

Friends provide a comforting sense of stability and bonding. A defining feature of friendship is that it's voluntary - it's a relationship of great freedom that we hold on to only because we want to.

The downside of this freedom is that the lack of formal commitment and th...

378

4.25K reads

Making friends: Initiate

Making friends: Initiate

Friendships don't just happen. We have to set aside time to regularly reach out to people, reconnect with old friendships, awaken new ones, check-in, and find time to hang out.

Don't just show up. Say 'hello when you get there. Let go of the myth that friendship ha...

420

2.92K reads

Deliberately making friends

Deliberately making friends

Making more friends in adulthood will take some deliberate effort. One challenge may be to put yourself out there, as it can trigger fear of rejection.

You may engage in two types of avoidance to prevent you from making new friends.

  1. You may practise 'o...

402

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Assume that people like you

One study found that volunteers who thought they were liked shared more about themselves, disagreed less, and had a more positive attitude. Other research found that, on average, strangers like us more than we realise.

These studies remind us to go into new social events a...

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Friendships: Keep showing up

Once you've initiated some new contact, the next challenge is turning them into regular friendships.

It is easier to sign up for activities where you have multiple opportunities to connect with the same people continually. If you want to make friends, you should commit to showing u...

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2.7K reads

Busyness and the risk of becoming friendless

The busyness of many people's adult lives can cause them to quickly lose contact with friends.

One study found that people had lost touch with about half of their closest friends over a period of seven years. What's more is that we are often losing friends faster than ...

369

3.47K reads

Turn initial meetings into friendship

  • Find an event. Sign up for something ongoing (such as a book club or a hiking group) and commit to showing up.
  • Prepare yourself to interact. Do something to put you in a good mood. Think about the strengths you bring - if you're funny, deep, insigh...

430

2.55K reads

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paxtonwee

If music is your love language, find someone who understands your undying need to spend your weekends hula-hooping in neon lights.

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How to ask better questions

  • Ask open-ended questions: they unlock more information from people
  • Ask “why” 3 times:  the easiest way to deepen the level of a conversation
  • Ask about specifics, not generalizations
  • Frame questions around a person’s reactions to experiences...

Get Your  Meditation Questions Answered

Get Your Meditation Questions Answered

Meditation becomes a far more relaxed and comfortable experience, an effortless effort when you ask the questions and be at ease.

The instructions of meditation are only to guide you towards what you have to discover. Like a finger pointing towards the moon

How to get beyond small talk

Ask open-ended questions that invite people to tell stories, rather than one-word answers.

Instead of "How was your day?" try, "What did you do today?" Other open-ended questions to try:

  • "What's your story?"
  • "What's the ...

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