How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships

It’s likely your primary caretaker was able to stay engaged with you as an infant and effectively manage their own stress as well as calm and soothe you when you were distressed. Having a secure attachment style might look like this:

• You’re able to be yourself in an intimate relation...

Your parental figure may have ignored or overlooked your needs as an infant, or their erratic, chaotic behavior could have been frightening or traumatizing to you.

If you have a disorganized attachment style, you’ve likely never learned to self-soothe your emotions:

• You swing ...

The infant brain is so profoundly influenced by the attachment bond. Understanding your attachment style can offer vital clues as to why you may be having problems in your adult relationships. There arefour main attachment styles:

• Secure attachment
• Ambivalent (or anxious-pre...

If you recognize an insecure attachment style in either yourself or your romantic partner, here's what you can do:

• A therapist can help you make sense of your past emotional experience and become more secure.
• Improve your nonverbal communication skills
• Boost your em...

It’s likely your parent or primary caregiver was inconsistent in their parenting style, sometimes engaged and responsive to your needs as an infant, other times unavailable or distracted.

People with an ambivalent attachment style tend to be overly needy:

• You may find it diffi...

Attachment is the emotional connection you formed as an infant with your primary caregiver—probably your mother.

According to attachment theory, pioneered by British psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth, the quality of the bonding you experien...