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The Five Purposes of Listening

Stephen R. Covey

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Stephen R. Covey

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

The Five Purposes of Listening

The Five Purposes of Listening

https://leadershipfreak.blog/2018/03/13/the-five-purposes-of-listening/

leadershipfreak.blog

3

Key Ideas

The 5 Purposes Of Listening

  1. Listening makes people feel like they matter, which in turn makes them work harder.
  2. Arrogance talks. Humility listens. Practice humility by letting others speak.
  3. Listen to help others learn what they really think and find clarity.
  4. Listen to understand what needs to be acted upon.
  5. Curiosity. Listen to ask a question.

4 Reasons You Hate To Listen

  1. An attention span compromised by excess of stimulation.
  2. Nagging issues take over your mental space leaving little space for listening.
  3. Lack of empathy makes you ignore how other people feel when they are not heard.
  4. Conversational dominance and impatience.

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Open Your Ears

Don’t jump to advanced listening techniques if you have poor listening skills as you’re very likely to get overwhelmed.

Start by just opening your ears, closing your mouth and looking the ...

What Someone Closed to Listening Thinks
  • How does this impact me?
  • When have I experienced this?
  • What would I do about this?
  • Where can I take this conversation?
  • What do I need to tell?
5 Roadblocks To Listening
  1. Disinterest in connecting.
  2. Long-talkers and explainers who never get to the point!
  3. Knowledge. Talkers know.
  4. Distraction by what’s next.
  5. Multi-tasking.
We're bad at listening

We come into conversations with our own agendas and low attention spans, and that can be a dangerous combination.

When you’re doing the talking, though, it’s frustrating if you’re not being h...

Being present in conversations
  • Get your face out of your phone and focus your attention.
  • Be willing to receive information.
  • Be willing to engage in the conversation and to listen with the intent to understand.
  • Be willing to stay the course and not let your mind wander.
  • Bring the conversation to a close with takeaways and next steps.
  • Respect the existence of emotions and their roles and be aware of the body language also.
  • Keep your ego out of the conversation.
What happens when you listen
  • Listening is the basis for growth and advancement. You can’t advance your skills and knowledge without understanding others.
  • Listening is also important because we all want love and respect; we want to spend time with people who listen.
Listening requires mental work
We mistake listening as easy because it looks passive and instinctive, but in reality it’s hard work. Really listening (and not just appearing to listen) re...
Mistakes we make in conversations
Our general tendency is to:
  • Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
  • Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
  • Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
  • Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.
What makes a great listener
  • Asking great questions;
  • Playing attention to the nonverbal communication;
  • Forgoing taking detailed notes to pay better attention;
  • Listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond;
  • Making people feel heard;
  • Following up on what matters.